Preoccupied With All Things Blue

And then, there were two

2011-10-31T14:19:00.001+07:00

Its been 3 months since I got married.
If you didn't know, it's because I didn't tell you before. Don't feel left out. I didn't tell anyone either.. except my family, and closest friends…

And I suppose, eventually, the people at the office. Because I need to apply for leave. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't tell them either. No Offense. Wilson and his new sidekick isn't into big weddings. They're not into any wedding celebrations at all, actually. It was done, because, as I have said before, it is custom. We can't have people screaming bloody murder about not being invited, and how they're not being respected, etc. People can be so self centered sometimes.

And here it has.. wedding band on my right finger. Who is she? Simply, that, D is the female version of Wilson . Bar None. It's like to talking to myself, only better. Because she's better looking.
In better shape, and she has this way of making you feel like you've known her forever.
And as for why I got married. It's pretty simple actually.
I had no choice.
It was either that, or losing my heart. And she has my heart.
And I don't think I can live without it.
Come to think of it, she hasn't given it back to me yet.
Which is alright, I suppose.
It's right where it wants to be.

A moment of Solitude

2011-09-03T18:03:00.004+07:00

it's been a while since my last post. the last one, was at a coffeeshop, alone, in december. This one, is also made, in a coffeeshop, so it's been close to 7 months since my last post.

Which means, its also been 7 months since I sat in a coffeeshop, and had quality time for myself. and I miss it. A whole lot. in the hustle bustle of coffeeshop, and nobody you know that might just stand behind you and give (what they think is) a friendly chat to accompany this ball and his laptop.

as I sit here, i can feel my brain cells settling down, regrouping, and categorizing themselves into recognisable images.

A lot of things has happened in 7 months. enough so that this quality time is well deserved. in between them, i've tried a lot of methods.

watching movies, cooking, meeting new people, fitnessing, biking, shopping, multiple shoppings for bike parts, etc.....

and nothing really beats this...

i'm looking forward to blogging many things. and...including my latest, latest developments... of which, you may already know... Yes... it is my biggest step yet so far... and places me into the realms of so-called "normal" people...... and surprisingly enough... i like it... :-)

Meditation

2010-12-05T20:21:00.003+07:00

I've probably ticked off one of the task I set out to do for myself, around 3- 4 years ago. I didn't actually figure it taking so long, but, i suppose there's no getting around that.

What would that be, Wilson? well, the question of who or what being in a relationship is, has probably been answered, to my relief. annd.. i have to admit really liking it, which is why I've been neglecting this blog. For the first time ever, I have better things to do, and an absolutely crystal clear excuse to not blog :-)

it's good, in a way that, when wilson is alone blinking at the coffeeshop, it's because this ball needs the time to meditate his thoughts, not because he's a poor sod who has absolutely nobody to meet and be with. it's a tiny difference, but it's one that, mentally, does wonders. and actually focuses me to meditate further on what one should be doing next.

i'm just going to write things down here, and see where it ends up for me. and one of the i should follow up in the near future.
1. Wilson should just go for his Masters Degree, and follow up getting jobs
at an NGO being a Logistics specialist, coordinating logistics supplies around the world to places that needs it.
2. Wilson the niche restaurateur, selling his famous banana crumbles on the beach.
3. Wilson, still goes for his Masters, and end up working where it takes him, in Singapore, maybe... (still love that city, for whatever reason).....
4. Wilson, in the business of helping people whatever their goals may be. (yeah, I know... totally random)

Wilson thoughts are now scrambled and unfocused, but determined, as this blog is.. it is not good reading, but it is something that i need to put up, to remind this ball, that doing something may take years, and may seem unachieveable, but with a positive outlook, and a little luck, things might just happen.

A Thought to end all Thoughts.

2010-09-20T20:46:00.002+07:00

As he sat in the office, alone, on a Monday night, a thousand things could have had him seriously, seriously depressed

Of the bosses that had the nerve to give an “urgent” last task, and left home shortly afterward.

Of the endless meeting throughout the day, without as much as a drop of water ( they were apparently out of clean glass, a really, REALLY bad excuse)

Of the extreme heat this afternoon, which promises rain later tonite, which spells bad things for people who chose to commute by bicycle today (himself, included)

Of jobs that had no rhyme nor reasons, but still had deadlines.

But tonight, he was neither serious, nor depressed

He was Relaxed, Optimistic, and Content.

What did He do?

He Thought About Miles Davis’s Seven Steps to Heaven,

He Thought About ElizabethTown, and bright, bright sunset, streaming through the window

He Thought About White, and Green, with splashes of Yellow

He Thought about the next weekend, Saturday, Sunday and what it may bring

He Thought About You.

A Question of Faith

2010-08-18T14:48:00.001+07:00

Along with the additional extra free time come more contemplation time, and not unlike’s BC’s endless contemplation with name changing, comes my ever lasting consideration of my faith. According to the parents ( Mom, especially), the holy grail of a person’s existence can be found in one’s faith, basically his strong connection to the great unknown. It is the set of beliefs that will carry a person through to the deep end of the ocean, or wherever a person finds himself in.

And as usual, deep in the fasting month there are certain questions that is replayed….. Just how much is faith playing a part in your life, and how much do you want faith to play a part in your life?

This question surfaced every year, to be discarded by the end of the fasting period

In all fairness, I consider myself to be a static ball when it comes to faith, a.k.a. : I do the routine, what needs to be done, but never that much more. There’s some occasional foray into “deep faith” (which usually happens before big events & important meetings) but as the events ends, so does the frantic prayer activity. Thing is, I had always hoped by doing the routine, the magic lightbulb would eventually turn itself on and I would just “feel” the effects…..or “something” that compels me to do more. Well, it hasn’t yet.

So, at some point I just begin to wonder, is it all worth it? As Gandhi said, almost everything you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. Maybe this is one of them. Maybe by doing more of it this fasting month, I’ll get my answers. Or maybe I won’t… or maybe I’m just not supposed to understand it now, and maybe It’ll all fall into place at the deep end of the ocean. But it’s impossible to get to where you’re going without knowing where you’re going.

So, I suppose I should do something different….. this fasting month, aside from the chance to at be 16 pounds overweight (as opposed to 20 pounds overweight L) I’m resolving going deeper, as opposed to doing more. I don’t know how I would go about it yet.. it has yet to be thought out…as usual…but it’s a start.

Maybe it’ll help this ball bounce where it needs to be going, instead of bouncing all over the place. And at least at the end of the month, I can always update you whether I’ve made any progress, if not in the faith, at least the weight.. J Happy Fasting Everyone….

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

2010-06-18T15:05:00.001+07:00

June, is a wedding month… every week, be it Saturday/Sunday, you’re bound to receive one/two invitations at weekends.

I have nothing against weddings… I think it’s great that two people who like each other enough is willing to go through the motions of announcing their short-lived lust of each other and invite everybody to join in their joy.

It’s just that, it really is an aggravation.

We have a thing down here about weddings.. Attending weddings is an obligation. Unless you are sick/poorly, have another important matter, urgent family demands, custom dictates that it would be impolite not to attend the wedding, when you have clearly been invited.

The custom goes both ways, because the wedding invitee also needs to issue out as many wedding invitations as posible, to the remotest of relatives as far away as the Darkest Peru.... as we now know, it is impolite to not invite people. Even ones they don’t really know.

Thereafter, in conclusion, you’re getting a lot of wedding invitations to people you barely know. And most invitee will have somewhat big weddings, oh, around 2000 people or so…

And as is custom, weddings requires people to dress well..very well.. in fact, the easiest is a coat and tie… and as June is the Indian Summer months, so take note that while we may look formal and quite studly, inside we are silently sweating buckets and cursing whoever it is that invented coats.

And so, the story goes, one dresses up nicely…diets for it, goes to the hairdresser for it. Spend hours pruning and preening for it…

So one can, circle for hours looking for parking spaces, wait in long queues to congratulate the benefactor, get limp, tired handshakes from the bride/groom, get some buffet and sod off home, sweating.

I repeat. I have nothing against weddings. Just the grand pointlessness of it all. But then again, what do I know. After all, It is Custom.

I Suppose I Could Tell You.............

2010-06-11T01:03:00.005+07:00

How it feels, to whistle down between the tree-lined tea plantations, wind brushing your face.

The speed as you wiggle around the singletrack, so periously close to the edge of the plantation valleys...

How your lungs bursts as you slowly grind up that never ending climb.

How slippery the ground is the morning after the rain, and how your heart pounds as you wrestle the bike down the steep slope, slipping and sliding...

But i'd rather let you picture, the end of the ride. dirty, tired, smiling, and all around you is a stunning vista of trees and that sweet mountain air.

Phew.

I love my new Hobby.

A Moment of Weakness

2010-06-01T10:06:00.002+07:00

Inexplicably,

From time to time I’m struck with acute moments of aloneness..

It doesn’t last long…, a minute, at most…even a second…

But it sinks deep…and haunts you throughout the day…..

Funny this, coming from a closet introvert. Makes one wonder if Wilson has taken the right lifestyle choices.

Book "Inch" Worm

2010-03-09T20:02:00.003+07:00

So, to note. I have bought another book. a novel, this time.
which makes my collection of books i have bought in the past 3 months, up to..ten..and counting

1. Bobby Flay's Burger book (burgers look fun)
2. Jamie Oliver's Dinner (loved Jamie's books)
3. Gentlemen of the Road (Michael Chabon)
4. the Mysteries of Pittsburgh (Michael Chabon)
5. Slam (Nick Hornby)
6. Twenties Girl (Sophie Kinsella)
7. The Art of War (Sun Tzu)
8. The To Do List (Mike Gayle)
9. Things Managements do which you have not done (some obscure witch writer)
10. Introverted Management (which was a wash, because it was written by an extrovert, bah)

Aside from the last book, which was, pretty much neglected. the only book that i managed to read was.... The Sophie Kinsella.. which was finished in one day flat...

The rest of the book, was flipped about, once or twice, deigned too complicated to read, and shoveled into the book rack, which and stays there collecting dust, waiting for the other new unread books.

I suppose I liked the concept of reading a book better than actually reading it. see.. buying it does make you sound more intellegent, somewhat. like when I decided to buy a Michael Chabon novel (or three) just because he was a Pullitzer winning novelist, and smart intelligent ball like Wilson should be reading a Pullitzer winning novel.

Well, not so fast, Wilson......this concept of getting "cultured" by book reading is wearing pretty thin pretty fast. But I digress. It is just a way for Wilson to understand people without meeting them.

Turns out, people are seemingly even more complicated in novels, than they are in real life (as per Pullitzer winning author's point of view).

Back to the drawing board Wilson, looks like you'll have to meet more people soon.

Perfect Day

2010-02-09T13:17:00.002+07:00

Let me tell you what my perfect day is……

Its bound to be on a non-working day, for sure. So, a holiday….

On that day, I’m going to wake up pretty late…say, around 9……and have something to eat..a solid burger, or a sandwich, with all the trimmings….

And then I’ll sit by the couch…. TV off/on, some music. Or maybe I’ll just google/blog something up.

In the afternoon, after a bit of a nap, I’ll go off and have a light exercise at the gym

And then have a ridiculously huge late lunch, like a japanese chicken curry rice. With green tea.

maybe then a little cake with coffee, with a good book, at Starbucks.….

And then go home, and watch some movie on DVD

And go to bed, early…. Say, Nine, or Ten, tops

And doing all of this, without talking….to anybody…..……

One should try it…..infinitely refreshing to only start talking again by Monday.

There’s so many useless, unimportant things being talked about, your head fill up with so many useless talks, debates, useless jokes, that maybe, one doesn’t realise, that maybe, just maybe, your mouth could do with a break. Give time for the brain to restructure your sentences before you say something that you might regret..

Now that, would be the perfect day.

Humpitty humpitty boom boom "get on up to it"

2009-11-10T18:06:00.001+07:00

There’s something truly subjective about creating music, either the right kind of music, or the wrong kind of music. I have personally not understood the definitions of DJ’s as musicians..

Granted, they may have good taste in music (an entirely subjective matter)… but does that make them musicians ??? They don’t actually play a musical instrument. The definitions would be eclectic music players…and truly undeserving of the dosh they make selling albums containing bits and pieces of real songs mutilated and repeated over and over again and call them “ A Musical Masterpiece”…..Bah…. and us poor souls have to listen to those truly hideous songs in the only two places does play them, namely the Club and the Gym

Why am I ranting??? Well, in as many month as I have (reluctantly) went to the gym, I have never forgotten my iPod…..but, I didn’t bring it yesterday… And for two mind numbing hours I have had to listen to the some DJ albums, consisting of a guy repeating the phrase “ Get it on up to it”….over…and over…. For 17,000 times in a row……..

Hoping for some enlightment, I asked the guy in charge the reason why they played this “thing”…and the official answer, straight faced was… “People work out harder, and enjoy working out more with these beats”….

Why on earth does anybody think that creating repeating a beat over and over and repeating a phrase “get it on up to it” over and over 17,000 times in a row would make you work out any harder??

It escapes my Very Little Brain… maybe one needs much bigger brains to comprehend these music…… for sure, that’s the last time I’ll forget my Pods….

Insensical

2009-11-06T15:23:00.002+07:00

The problem with writing emails is… you expect a reply in return,

so, when it doesn’t come… you immediately think that something was wrong with your reply, and you’re left with palpitations of “what have I done”…whereas when you have received the mail… and you know that everything is all right.. you may no longer have the impulse to reply… which, may leave the other side wondering what THEY have done………

Human beings are so filled with things that don’t make sense..

A Sense of Dissatisfaction

2009-10-28T11:00:00.001+07:00

There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense – Pride & Prejudice

Kids, toddlers, and little furrry things...

2009-08-08T23:27:00.005+07:00

a closet confession

as normal people go, they're scared of certain things. Dark rooms, monsters, cockroaches, frogs, lizards, bats etc. Perfectly, utterly understandable, they ARE horrible beastly creatures, your regular everyday "euww"...items....

Mine is a little unusual. I'm children phobic......I'm not one of those people who see children and get all googly eyed and misty, making unintelligible baby sounds to match. Nope... I'm the guy who stands wayyyy at the back, looking at this little so-called "bundle of joy" with an ingenously crafted unidentified expression, perfectly trained in many family outings....

thing is, I don't quite see the purpose of filling up the world with these little tykes... My Mom would say " it is the NORMAL thing to do, Wilson! to marry and procreate, and make noisy little people that cry, misbehave and breaks your favourite mug."....(the last part, naturally added)... seeing the crowded population of people in this world, it doesn't make all that much sense to make billions more to the ever more crowded world.

So, as you can imagine, a company family outing was not exactly my dream vacation.
Stuck in a bus packed with multiple screaming babies that rises and falls to the RPM of the bus
was stressful, to say the least. All the while the father was seemingly trying to console the unconsolable tyrants, standing in the bus for the better part of 4 hours, with various toys on hand, the mother on hand with ready multiple milk bottles, largely untouched. by the end of the trip, they looked tired and beat...

but here's the thing.... it was on the trip that I GET it.....Looking from any angle of any side of any equation, there is no logical sense of having kids. But it's not about logic. Its the joy of crafting something, from your own blood, that is entirely your own. with all your characters, your spouse's and something extra, and putting the responsibility solely on your hand to guide him to be whatever he/she wants to be... So, to these parents...it's like opening a ramen shop and cooking only ramen for 20 years in a row, without stopping. It's no problem. they love it....
and doing something that you love, is never a burden.

so, does that make Wilson a children lover? No..... no, very far to go from that... but understanding , is the first step to acceptance. ... i understand and accept the purpose of those tykes in this world.

So, for this time, let's just call Wilson, a slowly recovering children phobic....

Resolutions, 2009

2009-07-25T09:45:00.002+07:00

In all fairness, it is now July 2009, and there isn't that much time until the end of 2009. Nonetheless, after my self induced stupor, there really is a need to wake up and start planning all the way through 2009, if I want to still make it past this year, alive

this is still a draft, which will be fixed by the end of 2009 :-)

1. update my blog at least once a month, and the current blog should be expanded to meet my new hobbies, namely, cooking and biking... :-)

2. discipline, cutting the fat from all my previous life.. and make a more consistent wilson...
on the area that needs discipline, namely, exercise and goal setting.....

....that's all i can think of right now.....

btw, if you ask me, why the sudden surge of blogposts, wilson? well, the main reason is this spiffy netbook, which allows me to blog at most convenient places for inspiration, coffee shops, spiffy lounges, and mainly, in the office.. :-)

so there it is, my resolutions for 2009, may I have the audacity to do this, one baby steps at the time.....

Everything in Moderation

2009-07-22T12:55:00.002+07:00

I've been back on my couch potato mode for the past...eh....year. it's my new "old" thing to do... Oh, well, one can say that biking is NOT couch potato, but I digress.. it's a wee little exercise in the mountain sof hours spent zonked out on the couch, watching House reruns and chomping down on potato chips, or whatever happened to be around on that particular time.

The thing is, one gets tired of couch potatoing. There is always latent need to feel useful to something, or somebody that is built in to each person, and that particular need isn't covered by chugging down high fructose drinks in front of the sofa.

The last straw of that phase, was, with nothing great on the TV, I ended up watching the "i'm a celebrity, get me out here".... :-( watching all these cheesy people doing cheesy things (especially the reality TV star, doing a different reality TV show from his own reality TV) ended my love affair with the couch permanently.....

it's been a while since I blogged, so, some stuff may not make sense, but wilson is up and about,
and making his (admittedly) late 2009 resolutions, ha ha....

P.S. Thank you BC.... u're my blog rock...

Movie Time

2009-05-18T23:27:00.003+07:00

I’ve never understood why you MUST go to the movies as a pair, or with friends. The act of watching a movie has always been your engagement to the big screen in front of you.For the duration of the movie you do nothing, you do not communicate with your pair, except share a bag of popcorns(or except the smooch session, but then, it’s a different thing entirely, u don’t actually watch the movie anyway). If the movie sucks, neither of you want to talk about it. Actually, even when the movie itself is good, you don’t talk about it either, the maximum would’ve been “hey, it’s a good movie”… he’s a good actor, etc…

Hence, movie watching is, in itself a solitary act. So, why do people consider it blasphemy to watch movies alone?

I don’t mind watching movies with friends..I do like it, its fun, and the best part is the going to get dinner after the movie part.
But from time to time I would like to watch movies alone sometimes…its meditative, somewhat..
so all I’m asking is not to look at us as “weird” or “strange”.

Don’t give us the “sigh, poor guy, no date” look....

We’re there simply for the love of the movies, it's not unusual, and its not strange...it's just different.

so, i'll watching..Fast and Furious, in all its loud obnoxious glory, the cheesy acting of that blonde guy (whats his name again? forgot), Jordana's high IQ'ed waxed, em......shoes.... with my unshared popcorn and supersized fizzy drinks....... don't you dare tell me to do otherwise...

How to pick a book

2008-12-05T12:04:00.002+07:00

Imagine a bookshop. Imagine yourself there, imagine yourself looking for a novel, something nice and entertaining. But you don’t really know what to buy.
Or maybe u’re just looking for something a little….different…. How do you pick one?
Myself, I go for the attractive cover with a catchy title

Sacrilege! You say. Most would advise not to judge a book by its cover or its title. But, most of the time, one of the main reason that you pick a book is FOR it’s cover/catchy title…
If a book is dusty, gray, has an unattractive cover, with an equally drab title, no matter how fantastic the inside is, only brave souls will have the privilege to discover it…..
or only by these scenarios:

There is no other book in the area
You have read their previous books (which, in this case, does not count)
Rave reviews on that book (by trusted source/s)
a birthday gift (even then, u still may not read it)

In the end of the day, it is still what’s inside that matters.

But is it so wrong to ask for books to have an attractive cover???

BTW, if you haven’t figured it out by now.

I am NOT talking about books.

Quote of the Month

2008-08-19T05:36:00.001+07:00

" It's simple.......

It's not easy,

but it is simple......"

House, M.D.

Japan out

2008-07-09T20:47:00.002+07:00

I'm still in Nagoya,

I know most people will love it here......

me, on the other hand..hate it.... alot...in multitudes of way you just can't imagine...

I'm never coming back here......the vibe just don't cut it with me... the food's expensive, the travel's expensive. the life, monotonous..... for the first time, ever...I missed home country....yup...back to Indonesia...of all places.....or, even better, singapore...

maybe it's just the job...or maybe just my frame of mind at the moment...nothing seems to be working... nothing... job, life, etc...wish this would just......end....

blue eyes... when're you leaving for NL? it's an idea to meet...

wilson out....

Japanese Sun

2008-07-03T01:00:00.003+07:00

It is now 3 AM in Nagoya, Japan,

and I can't sleep...for whatever reason.... so, yeah, finally I get to go to Japan. Wish my bosses were here though, at least the heat would be a little lower, along with the report, that is... :-(
Well anyway, can't complain.. I'm in Japan!!!....yey!!!!...

and we will be documenting ( if possible ) any culinary adventure that might happen along the way ( if i'm lucky enough to go out of this dorm, that is...)...

but I don't care...hey, its Japan, rite?? hope I can go through the meeting tomorrow without conking out...hehehe...

End Game

2008-06-23T19:00:00.000+07:00

There room was dimly lit. darker, and bleaker than usual.
The piano was silent, black, foreboding
The garden, featureless, shapeless, covered in shadows of darkness
You were all in black, long black hair cascading, your face, set in stone, eyebrows firmly joined together in the centre.
Rivers of tears cascaded down your face. Through all your tears, I still can’t help but notice how magnificently beautiful you are
There, ended the dream. There, everything stopped moving.

My throat, dry as sandpaper, My tongue, bitter as the coffee in my hand.
My brain, unable to make sense of it all, My senses, numb. My heart, packed up, left and hasn’t returned since.

I don’t understand.
You owe me, some kind of love.

Reality Bites

2008-04-28T21:59:00.002+07:00

Saying Yes is the easy part... Now comes the fight to stay relevant and alive...

What is it about, you will just have to guess... What I can tell you, is that it involves a certain kind of commitment, and a lifelong bond which cannot be broken, and it also involves a lot of compromises, sharing and communication, of which the enormity has just struck home...

Maybe, for the first time in my life, I'm moving forward blindly, without a clear direction, going with the flow and wondering where all this may lead to..cautiously optimistic, but very, very worried about where it is taking me...Can i manage, can i handle it, can I be the person that I need to be?

Wilson's growing up really fast, real soon.... you never know...it could just well be, the ride of a lifetime... :-P...

Rollercoaster....The Beginning

2008-04-07T15:00:00.003+07:00

I'm Rollercoasting.....arms spread wide..plunging down.... going faster and faster...and I'm taking you with me, Ms. Cherry Blossom...

It's going to be a wild ride, prepare yourself darling....

Bangkok Bluesome

2008-03-16T22:32:00.003+07:00

I'm back in Bangkok...

that's right..the land where massage parlours never sleep, and japanese tourists line the streets looking for their next bar...
Do I like bangkok? perhaps my friend was right.. it IS pretty boring...

well.. might as well stay at the hotel and while away the night with Arnie's Terminator 1

"I'll bee Baaaak".....

Teez, in reading... i'm unable to connect to a decent phone line... please send me dad's phone number and/or e-mail through..... I have e-mail... my yahoo...

stories to continue... including my first ever experience in shopping for a women's handbag for E........ a nerve wracking experience if there was one... really hope she likes it...

The Garden

2008-02-04T15:01:00.000+07:00

It was a garden. With green grass, fresh from with the dew of yesterday’s rain. The sky, semi cloudy , with rays of sunshine, bursting through, and the smell of grass, perfuming the terrace with its sweet freshness,

There, in the garden….. was you and I…..

Piano tinkling in the background….what music was playing, I cared not…

There you were, in the hammock, long black hair cascading around your face, framing……your dark eyebrows, perfectly adjoining just below the bridge of your nose… Your smile, ever present...your laughter, intoxicating…
There I was, comfortable as never before….

There we were, in the garden, talking, laughing, gesticulating, probing, understanding..

In the garden, You and I, time stood still

There, in the garden…. I never wanted the moment to end…

Adrenaline

2008-01-28T11:43:00.001+07:00

Blood pumping,

Heart beating, faster and faster...

Testosterone flowing through your veins...

A lump in the throat that just won't go away, incessant cramping deep in the belly, the constant retching but nothing coming out, also part and parcel of the package.

it's true what they say, people perform best under pressure.

Now let's just see how I do it, wilson style.

I've done it before, I can do it again, I was born for this.
Don't hesitate any longer, Wilson!! Go for it... this is crunch time.

(Gotta do Right, Sometimes - Brand New Heavies)

Changes

2008-01-15T11:51:00.000+07:00

Is change good?

Sometimes you question your own mortality and the way mortality has an impact on you…
Growing older sometimes has no impact, in everything other than the way you think about life.

Getting older feels like somebody has patted your back and said..” isn’t it time for you to think of something else?”

And the answer would be…well… I suppose so….the question of your existence and meaning in the world, has less importance than the main question in how are you going to spend your life… what will you be doing? How are you going to survive in this world? the young person’s (read: the guy I was a year ago) idealistic point of view, is getting less relevant, and the question of survival (i.e: more practical issues) has taken over the wild and whimsical meanderings I may have had many moons ago…

Am I jaded? …maybe… Am I pessimistic? No, maybe just a tad realistic… I suppose… I’m worried I’ll be out of it… too out of it to care… to out of touch to worry about little details…

So, I’m making concrete movements to get my life to move along. First and foremost…getting all my itches scratched..

Finishing my never ending, 10 years in the making, loudspeaker… that, is finally done… Pictures to be posted.

Getting my very own , real, hard-ass core mountain bike… that, is also finally done… pictures to be posted soon.

So… what else is left?

I suppose…that would be all the questions that I have always posed in these pages recently.. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.

Yah… you’re right…this year… is the make or break… nothing left to chance anymore.

Aftermath....

2008-01-09T10:21:00.000+07:00

The Storm has passed...an eerie calm has descended upon the land. Silent, and yet, deafeningly loud .....

All that is left, is the debris, pieces of dreams left shattered, battered by the wind and bashed against the rocks.

time to pick up the pieces and start over again.

New Year, 2008

2007-12-20T12:11:00.000+07:00

Ah, how fast the year moves!!!

It feels just like last week that I wrote the post for new year 2007, and behold, 2008 is here...

how do you rate your 2007? in my previous posting, I predicted that 2007 looked interesting from a 2006 point of view....and after living it... whoa...it has surpassed even my expectations.

it's by far...my most interesting year to date... it's definitely not my best year (too many abysmal disappointments abound to even qualify as a good year), but it is the year that I would remember the most. I've been busy making things happen this year..

there was a promotion, unexpected, and slightly unnerving

there was a step into the unknown, making social connections and engaging in
a (surprisingly) evolving cooking class sessions, which has resulted in interactions with people I wouldn't have met in previous life.
there was a "balls-of-fun" trip to Ujung Kulon, which had a repercussion that I couldn't have imagined
there were multiple challenges, which I wasn't managing as well as I could have, but it was exciting nonetheless
more importantly... there was more attempts at roller-coastering than I have ever tried in one year..... or any year, for that matter

whaaaaa....!!!!! crazy...

you could say...2007 is my milestone year... now, there's no turning back. I've gone too far to stop now... Wilson is now well and truly a different animal.....

how does 2008 look then? hmmm...my crystal ball's not out yet...that may need a quiet blogging session with andrea bocelli overlooking the clarke quay river, which I promise to do... very soon.

Turning 30

2007-12-19T12:42:00.000+07:00

"I remember as I turned 30 I said, "I have no more excuses for myself. I've got to figure these things out.- Brad Pitt"

Yup…an additional notch on my virtual belt… I usually do not do birthday posts, simply because

1. after your 21st birthday, all the yearly counting seems so terribly calculating. You’re getting older, it’s the only thing you really need to know.
2. Most of my birthdays isn’t worth mentioning about, the activities are mostly non-existent, and I usually spend it alone, with a bottle of my favourite tipple…

So, why is this birthday worth a mention in this precious blog?

Well… it is the big Three-Oh, ain’t it? the next phase of your life, where… things start to happen..where you will be judged purely on your “manly” abilities, where you decide the direction of your life. And make decisions that will have serious consequences on your life. Wilson can no longer fool around and think of life like it has no consequences.

The only problem is… the longer I think, the less progress I seem to make.. nothing is getting clearer, everything seems blurrier… the more I know, the less I understand, the more I have to learn.. does anyone have a clear idea where they need to be by the time they’re 30? Or am I the only one groping in the dark?

Well, no more.. I’m getting out of this rut…like Brad there, I’ll be be making no excuses for myself this year… it may involve moving out, pursuing other ventures, it will be about getting over my fear of commitment. It will be about getting over my hesitance on meeting/organising people. Wilson is coming out.

and by the way, Ms. S, it will also be about your birthday card. The cutest birthday card I've ever had!!... Thank You!!!...

Love Makes you Fat

2007-12-19T08:23:00.000+07:00

Firstly, a disclaimer, No… I’m not in Love… at least, I’d like to think that I’m reasonably well adjusted enough to recognise that Love, if anything, is akin to consuming large amounts of chocolate… (which actually, does make you fat too…hmmm…that’s a whole new topic, isn’t it?). and I do believe, that, love, if anything, needs time to marinate, and at any stage before a time of maturation ( an extended period, at least), is only a high level of infatuation.

I am though, bewitched by certain, let’s say..creature…..of infinite interest and a certain feminine guile, which does render me unacceptably unfocused and babble like no guy my age ever should, battling late night sleepiness to talk for hours on the phone, and had me mentally & physically writing down notes of conversations points if I ever, God Forbid, run out of subject to talk about.

But, that’s not the issue. The issue here, is that, when you start trying to fit in your schedules to fit your (possibly) significant other, you inevitably find yourself meeting at the most inconvenient of times for somebody who is trying to go on a diet.

The choice of dinner places (i.e. cosy comfortable spots), tend to focus more on the mood food (creamy, sweet, rich, fragrant, indulgent) food which would be unsuitable for someone, say, 13 kilos above the ideal weight. I try, of course, to find healthier alternatives, but at the end of the day, atmosphere and setting wins over food choices. Thus, true the adage, being in love makes you fat.

Is it worth the additional weight, the uncomfortably tight trouser, the uncomfortable feeling of guiltily adding kilos that would take months, maybe even years, to shed?

I can’t say… in this one, the process does not guarantee the result.

Regardless, I enjoy every minute of it, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

Now perhaps, that, is the most important thing

Boys will be boys

2007-10-12T13:11:00.001+07:00

" I have the Audi A4 Hot Rod Edition!!! " a colleague exclaimed excitedly. "oh , that's nothing, I got the LE (Limited Edition) Navy blue Ferrari Enzo just yesterday", my manager scoffed...

"well yes, but do you have the Toyota LandCruiser Arctic Expedition version in white ??" another colleague, claimed, fresh from his business trip to Japan .

no, we don't work the stock market, and no, neither does any of our colleagues... neither do we own any of the cash needed to keep those esoteric cars on the road, let alone buy them... so, what we are talking , about, is Hot Wheels.

Hot Wheels? yup, those toys cars of (supposedly) in accurate (extremely) scaled down version, stuff you give out to your baby cousin (preferably under 5 years old) who will insufferably scream with glee and proceed to open and wreck the toy cars within a matter of minutes.

These guys are way more serious... first of all, they don't ever open the plastic boxes..
Secondly...they take extreme measures to go hunt for these "special edition" Hotwheels, toy shops, supermarkets, etc, wherever...
Thirdly, they even have a special display case for them to show-off their pride and joy, at the behest of their wives, who really thinks that 30-something with kid(s) in tow don't really need to collect things they should have collected over 25 years ago when it is more appropriate for them to do so....

I'm a little envious..I can't actually see the point of collecting these things....but it must be fun to have such an easy, painless, hobby..:-) as for me, I'll stick to my chef's knife, and dream about making the perfect chicken fried steak... :-)

Unique

2007-09-15T09:55:00.000+07:00

I hate to admit it…

Don’t you spend days doing things that supposed separate you from the “normal” people in your life..
Only to find that you are.. embarassingly.. not only normal.. but very normal… even more than just normal..conservative, even…

Like spending millions of rupiah on something other than “Nokia”……just for the sake of being different, and ending up.. with a blarsted Nokia phone 2 months later…..like eating a certain “exotic” food such as… “foie gras”, or “fettucine con funghi”, only to find that…well… you prefer the plain-jane grilled chicken and spaghetti bolognese…

…Being Normal means you don’t run the risk of having a different problem from everybody else, which means, having to solve a problem nobody else knows the solution to…
And doing something that will be……”safe”….

Well…yeah..I’m normal.. I wear the same clothes as everybody else, use the same phone… eat the same food.. talk the same way..laugh at the same jokes..buy the same things…

But I wish I could be just slightly… slightly different… wish someone would say to another… ‘ hey, that’s wilson.. you know him?’… and she would say
‘ oh ya, he’s that quirky guy, right? … “ he’s…. unique” ….

Now that would be nice…

P.S. : as of last night..I got my wish...the exact words are.."you know wilson, you're unique.." music to my ears..

Are you Experienced?

2007-08-22T11:44:00.000+07:00

I've been out of the loop for a while...

could say it's a lack of things to report..but ,not so... actually I've been trying to construct a roller coaster of my own...

so, was I successful? well..sadly no... but it was one hell of a journey... wild mood swings, supressed emotional outbursts, and constantly simmering undercurrent of tension... it's true what they say, it's a thin line between love & hate..

so why didn't it work out? well...that doesn't really matter, thats just for me and her to know..
but I've learned alot along the way...

Basic…everyday household things I should have learned a long time ago stuff… :-)

Let is flow… enjoy yourself, and don’t expect too much of yourself.. the result is not the end goal,
and never should be, the process should just be as enjoyable…
but progress, is a must.. one foot in front of the other, don’t stop…
and don’t hesitate, and when you decide to stop, be it on your own terms… a little cliched, but, it's new...for me anyway...

I’m getting serious, aren’t I… well..its an interesting subject… here’s to painful progress..

At least now…I can sing with Jimi Hendrix and scream “ yeah, baby, I’m experiencing !!”

Saying Goodbye..

2007-05-29T16:48:00.000+07:00

I just sold my first car..

Had a lot of great memories in that car… I never thought I’d be this sorry to see it go… the trips to Senayan with buddies on our weekly (ok, maybe monthly..) squash games, the heartbreaks, dates with a certain celebrity with huge eyes, killer legs..and an explosive personality to match…..and the last, a “friendly” conversation with a bushy moustached police, a pothole…and, of course, with the vivacious Ms. MES, it was memorable in more ways than one.

Really, really felt that a chunk of my life has gone… never to return.. funny how one can feel so bad about missing a car…I haven’t even named the car yet…
A picture of it on the blog, a momento, of the good times we had together, before it leaves for its new owner…

Romance, and all that entails...

2007-05-23T11:24:00.000+07:00

On a ride home she said to me..” you know Wilson, you’re so not romantic! “
Jolted and ever-so-slightly stung, I challenged her “not romantic, me? In what way? Please define Romantic ? “
She mentioned, a little too quickly, perhaps… “ Romantic… is being there when they need you..action, rather than words..”
“you… don’t seem to need anybody..you don’t show enough care”

I didn’t challenge her any further, for fear of sounding “Non Romantic”.
Perhaps I should. This puzzles me. A guy is always around when they’re interested in a person. It’s not that hard to do..
Whether we care or not, is another thing. Some guys can fake it, some cannot… , how can you care so much if you’ve only just met that particular person?

I think women just want to be fooled a little more… an show of affection, an extravagant show of attention, all in the name of
“I care about you”..and have women swoon with “oh, he’s sooo romantic!... he’s the man for me…”

Do I care about what she thinks? Well, yes, maybe, a little… that should tell you about my frame of mind at this moment… as for the rest..I’ll keep it to myself at this time…

Shampoo

2007-05-02T14:03:00.000+07:00

Had the most interesting experience yesterday…

A friend, shall we say, a metrosexual fashionista male friend… forced me to a hair salon yesterday, all the while muttering “Wilson, your hair is so unfashionable…boring… you need a haircut”… and stuff like…” you need new clothes, polo shirt is SO out of date, I can’t go clubbing with you with THAT kind of shirt…”

I expected to have a nauseating, deadly boring experience (a.k.a. waiting for your mom in hair salon and listening to middle-aged customer’s mindless drivel with a perpetual half-smile pasted on your face)…

But surprisingly enough…what followed was one of the most relaxing hour I’ve had in recent memory. The place was quiet, the interior classy, the conversations, discreet.. and the hair wash… divine…… I’m really beginning to see why women enjoy going to the salon so much… I could really get used to this…

As for the haircut..let’s just say that I had one of those so-called new “edgy” style haircut, replete with the spiky antenna-like protuberations…. As to which my friend pronounced as “excellent, very fresh!” ….to be honest, I really can’t see what the fuss is all about…. It looks like a volleyball with an angry porcupine on top… ?
Anyway, regardless of hair style, if given the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat…

Bluecactus, still missing your hengky tandayu? :-)

A lack of Inspiration

2007-04-05T15:59:00.000+07:00

I somehow found that my well of blog ideas has dried up since returning back home to Indonesia…
what is it about this city that has sucked out my life juices? Could it be the endless working hours?
Could it be the apparent lack of culture in this city?... seemingly endless expanses of the concrete jungle with nary a
Tree in sight, or only a single lone, poor, extremely dusty, sad excuse of a tree beaten down with bustling cars, and endless rows of motorcycles..

Or could it be hopelessness…where no news is good news, the first thing that greets you when you start to the office is one of the many child-beggars, lining the street, looking so plaintively for a few nickel & dimes...where nothing seems to be getting better anytime soon.. the smell of despair in giant empty malls, filled with items most people are unable to buy, hence the expression “walking around”.. not shopping, just walking, looking, dreaming…

I’ll be enthusiastic again… I know I will… I’ll get it back..Now, if I can just stop comparing this place to Singapore….. ha ha…

She Didn’t Look..

2007-04-05T15:56:00.000+07:00

Came home one evening..coming along a particularly busy intersection. I stopped, waiting for traffic to subside… as I was just about ready to turn, a woman, an old lady with a feather-duster, walked by, casually… right in front of my car...

She didn’t stop, didn’t even think about stopping…… despite the obvious danger it posed on her, as well as my own well being… that wasn’t my first thought.. if anything, it was her face…

Her face, registered nothing, not a single flicker of concern.. not a single look of awareness… it was, for lack of a better word..hard as stone.. it’s as if, she doesn’t care… of anything, anybody, of herself.. living, dying.. it’s all the same…

I felt guilty, somehow.. I don’t know what I was guilty for, but nevertheless, felt guilty…I don’t think anybody has that right to stop caring about themselves so much..... naïve, I know….still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty

In Pursuit of Happiness..

2007-03-31T18:04:00.000+07:00

No… it’s not a review of the movie ( which I haven’t watched, btw).. and which this blog will never be…
The sentence itself, somehow had me thinking about happiness. What really makes people happy?

Common definition, “ being happy is wanting what you have, and having what you want.. yes…partly true…but..
we're designed to never be contented, and to always want more.. and if that is the case, how can we ever be happy?
what we want always changes.. if you own a Lamborghini.. on some days you might really want that foxy black Ferrari sitting In your neighbour’s garage (assuming, of course, that you live in such exalted neighbourhood).. So that definition, I feel, isn’t quite correct

So Wilson, what do you feel is correct? Well, This is the result of some deep contemplation over a cup of cappucino and watching scantily
clad women eating french fries in McDonalds Clarke Quay after their clubbing session…. So, yes, this is serious.. (in case you’re asking, this is an old post I forgot all about until now)..

It involves money, but not lots of it..it involves a certain kind of comfort, but not too much of it. And it involves kind of challenge and target.

So this is my definition : Having what you need, without actually having what you REALLY want.

To my mind, to achieve a certain level of happiness, a person must also have a certain level of unhappiness. An unhappiness that they can fix and do something about. In essence, a target. To be truly happy, you must have everything that you need.. but you must also have something you want BUT is difficult for you to get.

Think about it… have you ever dreamed about getting something you really wanted, only to feel a sense of loss? It seems, somehow dreaming about it is better than actually having it…..

wanting what you have is not something that humans are designed to do. I think we’re happier to have a challenge rather than be challengeless and have things handed to you on a silver platter….

There is no conclusion to this post, it just shows how illogical we humans are.. I wonder if everything in earth works in the same way….

Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai

2007-02-12T19:54:00.000+07:00

Had a chat with my friend in Starbucks, about a month ago.. and the talk, inevitably turned towards men-women relationships and why women sometimes end up with guys that are wrong to begin with... at that moment, my friend mentioned that they have a Chinese Saying.....

"Nan Ren Bu huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai"
(Men Not Bad, Women Don't Like)

translated loosely, women don't like guys that aren't bad, impressive fact that the chinese even have a saying for these things...my thoughts immediately turned towards... Hugh Jackman..

Why Hugh Jackman, may you ask?

well..another friend of mind (yes, D, if you're reading this)..mentioned to me, while we were talking on the subject of cloning, she mentioned to me... "if I'd like to clone somebody, it would be Hugh Jackman..."... now, why would anyone want to clone that broody, 230 pounds of solid muscle mass? I must mention that my friend here, is an academic through and through, someone who, on the surface, at least, I would expect to to prefer somebody more...intellegent,dashing...somebody like... Jude Law, or something.... but no... Hugh Jackman it is... the Wolverine... dark, broody, unsmiling, dangerous, unpredictable good guy/bad guy.

and the last straw... my last research comment is from a Japanese fashionista, during lunch, she mentioned to me ( in that oh-so-cute japanese accent).... "umm.... I..rike..bad boys...rike.. colin Farrell...he's so hot..."...

so, comments from three different spectrum of people , from a sensible girl-next-door Singaporean, an uber-intellectual Indonesian, and a fashionista Japanese... and they all have the same comment..i.e. preference... ...

so... what is it with bad boys? there is a pattern here... women seems to automatically identify with something that they know is bad for them...as somebody they prefer? it's such a puzzle...

now, it seems, regardless, when it comes to women, I know which side of the fence I should be sitting in...

Left My Heart in Singapore

2007-02-05T00:43:00.000+07:00

it's time to go soon...

it's time to face to music and dance... but, let me say this...I will forever miss Singapore....say what you will for it being antiseptic, boring, predictable, the asian country equivalent of a golf course... the comments, of course, true.. but I don't care.... I wouldn't mind living next to a golf course, thats for one.... a list of things I will miss:

1. strolling home from work at nights.. and just walk wherever I want, whenever I want...without ever having to think of my safety.......just walking.... and feeling free to explore nooks and cranny without ever having to pre-think if this part town is safe to go to...
2. a combination of culture.. singapore is the equivalent of a mini park... go one mile.. china town, the other mile... little india... another mile.. geylang serai... everything in one country...different people, different culture, blended together with it's own distinctive personality
3. I never, ever feel like a foreigner in Singapore... at any time of the day you will find a chinese, Indian, malay, and europeans walking on the street..
4. the air... breathing freely in and out... no funky smell... not having to wipe your face with a wet towel everytime you come inside the house to wipe all the grime.. not having to sweep the floor every day for dust
5. and of course... food... I can't get enough of the food here...I'm sure Indonesia also has such varieties, but I've yet to find them...they just seem to blur into such predictable varieties...
and you have to spend so much just to find a place to hang out...whereas... the kopi stall next door in singapore is nice enough to hang out in... and have decent pratas to boot...

literally and figuratively, I left my heart in Singapore... in time... maybe.. my heart will follow me back to Indonesia..but for the time being... I may just have to manage without one....

bluecactus, will you ever think of coming back to Indonesia for good?

An Indian Summer

2007-02-05T00:02:00.000+07:00

... this is Indian week.. and as per recommendations by food bloggers, the Indian place to go to have is at Sri Kamala Vilas, a hole-in-the-wall establishment in Little India... yup... as the picture shows.. the place isn't cool... but the food....really is quite excellent... and very affordable

I managed to ask (translation: blackmail) a couple of (new) friends on a culinary tour to test out the place (translation: lab rats)... really guys/ladies, I'm sorry if I was a little pushy on your menu selection!!!... no malice was intended... just some dents in your wallet, I swear! don't think badly of me.. it's just food... :-)

taking honour of first place.. biryani chicken...really surprised on this one.. it was really good..the rice was perfectly separated, fragrant and well oiled.. and the herbs were just nice.. light and with none of that musty smell prevalent in lesser establishments next.. chappati... must admit I'm a little undecided on this one... it's ok.. but nothing exciting....

we're moving on to blackmail 1, paper thosai.. :-)
these mothers are huge!!... must be one and half foot of extra crispy thin thosais... pretty cool when presented on the plate and all... but maybe it was a little too crispy for some..and lacked a little... sponginess...:-)

blackmail 2, masala thosai
this is, arguably, the most popular dish in the restaurant... most of the table I saw had some version of it. it is basically normal thosai wrapped around mashed potato filling. definitely lived up to its reputation... and for $2.60.. very filling...
blackmail 3, chan bhattura...
this is the hardest person to blackmail of all... :-) but I think he would agree that my choice was pretty good..... this is basically fried pastry.. but due to the intense deep fry, blown up resemble semi-inflated volley ball size.....you need to pierce the ball to squeeze the hot air out.. this is eaten with chick peas and a squeeze of lemon...this one is still my favourite south indian bread.

poori
basically two smaller sized version of chan bhattura... some people would say that two small portions is better than one big one (in the case of fish, for example).. and on most cases I would agree, however not in this case.. for some reason poori is heavier and more brittle than bhattura... maybe the heat tends to overcook the poori's quicker than it does bhattura...

chicken masala
this is the pride and joy of the restaurant, and on this one, I have to agree.. most masala chicken I've tried seem to be excessively salty, and make you feel like you're eating spices with chicken, instead of the other around.. this one is quite different... what seems to make this one different is the addition of sour tomato in their blend.. one bite of this masala chicken really is explosion of flavour... the chicken is well marinated, without being excessively salty, also the spices does not leave a bitter aftertaste.. and the tomatoes, really bring the much needed sour tang to provide relief to the heavy spices...

all in all... a successful expedition.. and one more reason to miss Singapore even more...

Late Night Haunts

2007-02-04T23:36:00.000+07:00

as a post to remember all the singaporean things that I will be missing...my favourite prata stall.. coincidentally.. one of the best night haunts.. if you're ever stuck and hungry in river valley rd. at 1AM.. this is the place to be.. Spize Makan Place

ironically enough, I don't have any picture of pratas... i seem to have wolfed through it everytime before i remembered to take pictures... :-( so... unless I get some stuff down before leaving..(which isn't very likely)... this will have to do..

chicken biryani...my opinion.. just ok.. nothing exciting..but the best is yet to come..

they have more success with the thai fried rice, with tom yam seafood..nasi pad prik, the name, I think... the combination of pineapple fried rice and the sweet sourish tom yam inspired sauce really hit it off...

and have i told you of Roti John? well, it's like a western/indian food, that's only available in singapore... basically, it is egg and minced mutton slammed between slices of french bread and drizzled with indian rojak-inspired sauce and gravy... I really think spize has the best I've tried so far ( which really isn't saying much)
oh my... I'm tearing up inside... will i really have to settle for bubur ayam when I'm back in jakarta? sniff...

A Chinese Wedding

2007-02-04T21:52:00.000+07:00

this is a little late in coming.. the wedding was in December, but only got around to posting it early Feb'07....

my first ever Chinese wedding, was interesting.. disclaimer: title may not be the consistent as the description, since it really won't be telling much about the wedding....my friend Willie got married in Dec'06, and assured me wholeheartedly that the food will have no trace of pork, even though drinks will still be available.. :-) which is totally fine with me... :-P

we started out with the h'ors d'euvres... which is two types of fried fish cakes and something else I cannot identify, little baby octopuses, prawn salad, and jellyfish.. since the wedding was a little delayed, and therefore the food came out a bit late, i really couldn't tell you much about how it tasted... I kinda stormed through it.. :-P

no matter... the second dish was coming up.. steamed fish...again..memory fails me what kind of fish it was.. doesn't matter.. the fish was fresh and with that fall apart tenderness fish meat... you can tell I'm getting pretty happy by now....

third dish was stir fried sea cucumber... gotta admit this is my least liked dish of the whole evening... is sea cucumber supposed to taste like this? chewy, rubbery, and slightly spongy... and the sauce didn't permeate the interior, it's kindly like eating tasteless konyaku jelly...
it is fully redeemed, however, by the fourth dish... deep fried prawns with floss toppings...now we're talkin'.... this.... is my favourite dish of the evening... the prawns were fried perfectly.. and the floss topping (mixed with basil, I think?) added a touchness of sweetness, that just melds so well with the prawns... hmm...umami... this really made my night...

fifth dish, coming in quickly, is chicken... don't ask me what it's cooked with, because I forgot to swipe the menu from the wedding (as per my usual modus operandi), so... I think it was roasted chicken, coated with some kind of starchy clear brown sauce, my guess is the oyster sauce and chinese five spice powder... nice one..the marinade went right through the meat the gravy moistened the outside just enough to provide additional gooey texture to the dish.on to the veggies... this is the usual spinach with oyster mushrooms, in oyster sauce.. chinese cooks seems to have perfected the art of cooking spinach... they always seem to get the balance of softness but the firmness (veggie al dente, if you will) just right... this one is no exception..

by this time, I had no capacity left to ingest any more food... so had to pass on carbs.. stir fried noodle with mushrooms... it doesn't look like much, but i was told it's pretty good... by that time, I just took their word for it..

all in all... enjoyable experience.. the wedding was a hoot... there were alot of toasts..and each table were eager to toast the bride/groom... and on each toasts.. there were alot of shouting...of.. what sounded like....WAAAAAAAAAAA.... ( i'm sure somebody will tell what exactly is shouted)..but regardess..it was so much fun!!!

I know I promised that there will only be one human picture in my blog.. but in this case... the picture's just too good to pass... so.. Willie, bottoms's up man... best of luck to you... :-)

Nite Walk....

2007-01-15T22:00:00.000+07:00

Nightime... is my favourite time of the day.....

not for the clubbing.. neither is for the night life... but for the possibilities of walking down empty paths undisturbed, let your head clear itself of its own murkiness ..
this nite... walked out of the office at 10 PM.. but no thought of home popped out...
I decided to let my feet do the walking.. take the long way home.....destination, undecided
maybe I'll just go straight home... maybe I won't... maybe I'll just point my way to Bugis and watch the neon lights glow brightly, maybe I'll just stroll down Little India, and immerse myself in the scent and the fragrance... maybe I'll just head over Clarke Quay.. and watch the Hooter Girls serving beers... or maybe I'll just sit by Esplanade and gaze blankly at the bay...

maybe, the longer I walk, the easier it will be for me... to forget...

Porn

2007-01-03T19:24:00.000+07:00

Walking on my way home last night, I happen to pass by.. some dimly lit (well, ok, it was pretty bright) neon clad stall...... they have pictures... large pictures...of well oiled, seemingly nubile, firm, white, succulent, flesh seemingly offering themselves to me.. saying... "come wilson... come... try us out... you won't be disappointed.... we'll give you a night you'll never forget...."

I had no choice... I had to get a better look...they look so tempting...my brain is screaming... No!... No!... walk away, wilson.. walk away...!!! but my feet....seemed to have a life of its own...

in front of the stall is the auntie....larger than life, it seemed...she was smiling...beckoning me over.... with her well oiled hands, waving me over...
seemingly saying " come over, Big Boy... you know you want it... come on over and choose...what will it be for you?"

at that precise moment, I broke down...A man can only withstand so much temptations of the flesh.... I gave up, right there and then....and sighed the unbidden words.... " 1 packet of Deep Fried Prawn Paste Chicken, auntie, to go, please"....

Out they came, perfectly fried pieces of golden nuggets, crispy, firm, succulent..
ashamed to say... I was biting, licking, and slowly but surely devouring these pieces of perfection till there was nothing left but pieces of bones and bits of crumbs, the lasting evidence of this torrid affair...

Come this morning... I couldn't even bear to look at my weighing scale...forgive me, sister... I have brought you grief.... I have sinned... Please have mercy on me....

Arias.....

2007-01-02T10:46:00.000+07:00

Blogging in my apartement, looking over Clarke Quay, with a cup of tea and a mayo-seaweed toast, listening to Andrea Bocelli "Estate"... experiencing a state of relaxation& tranquility quite unlike any other..

Only do I now feel that..maybe... just maybe... I'm now ready to face the New Year...

New Year, 2007

2007-01-02T10:14:00.000+07:00

Some things you think about... and some.. not at all.. and some..you think about it only after it's been and done... how would you summarize your 2006? I imagine some would say... "lucky you!!"...and some would roll their eyes and bug out..."what..ever!!!"

personally, I had nothing to say of my 2006..its neither a high nor a low... I suppose another year is just another year.. it's how humans mark the length of time they have left on earth.. :-)... damn.. why am I always so damn melancholy in new years?

Am I looking forward to 2007? hmm.. interesting question... from where I sit today 2007 offers a wealth of possibility previously unthought before...new changes, new lives, new state of mind.. and hopefully travelling AND moving... perhaps.. this 2 months extension may really be a blessing in disguise... we'll see...

Eid Lunch, courtesy of the B's

2007-01-02T09:12:00.000+07:00

the Eid lunch was what I had missed for sometime, a real Indonesian lunch... so.. in my excitement (and admittedly, hunger..) I missed out on photoshooting the spread.. :-) ... in any case.. you really can't go wrong with Lontong, chicken opor, sambal goreng kentang, and semur daging.... you won't catch me dead waxing lyrical on the virtues of chicken opor.. but... hmm..it was real tasty... I suppose this is the "cooked with love" concept at work....

what we did get to shoot, was the desert.. chocolate fondue with a seemingly endless cornupia of fruit selections, and of course, marshmallow, ... if you noticed, the Wilson/Teaser/N's gang also brought contributions to the table, in form of Don's famous chicken pie, pictured at the bottom.

what was prevalent was also the seemingly endless baby pictures... they're really such a camera hog, so, in honour of the first ever baby that did not cry with me holding it... ReRe.... the (only) human picture in this blog.. hope Mr./Mrs./Ms. B's don't mind..... Thank you for lunch.. :-)

One Fine Night...

2007-01-02T08:13:00.000+07:00

The conversation started haltingly.. but soon melted to easy warm chatter and hearty laughter....

..... the setting... the bustling Bugis Village, where the neon lights glow and happy shiny people walk together hand in hand and crowds the avenues with laughter..

the food.. a fusion of malaysian main course and chinese desert...... one word of caution, if you're not into oatmeal, do not order the chinese walnut paste...

the companion.....a mix of cousin, sister and new friends...... the night... sparkles like the christmas baubles, hanging over the bugis junction with nary a cloud in the sky. and I was constantly distracted by what seems to be a constant shadow of a dimple, or is it just a particularly fetching fine line accentuating such a killer smile of my acquaintance....

Interesting New Button

2007-01-01T10:17:00.000+07:00

blogfans...

was writing a blog one day, and looked over the dashboard and saw....hey... a picture insert button.....doh!.... so ashamed of my oversight....... well, better late than never.. so consistent with the name... Epicurean Odelay.. the first ever picture of a Spinelli's French Cream Donut for your viewing pleasure... :-) yes.. it is a heavenly sizzling bursts of donut pleasure... rare in a city with nary a donut shop. surprising, eh?.....jakarta has (alot) more donut shops than singapore..

Travelling Without Moving

2006-11-27T22:27:00.001+07:00

I have never really understood what Jamiroquai meant by "Travelling without Moving" when it was released..hmm... 6 years ago? I always really thought that it really meant one of those teleporting Star Trek thingy which he managed to dream up in one of his cocaine infused binges..recently though I realised one thing.... Travelling without moving... is what I've been doing...

I have been travelling... alot.. one place to the other, one country to another, one office to another.. and in all of my travels I have experienced a lot of things... new sights, sounds, images, point of view, cultures...but I haven't been moving... I'm still here... in this job, doing the same things, solving the same problem, saying the same things over and over... instructing the same things, to different people, maybe, but the same things..sometimes I would really catch myself saying something I have said before, somewhere...a "deja vu" moment, if you may.

and I think...most people, are really travelling without moving.. going with their everyday duties, but not getting anywhere, just making it through the day... it really sounds sad..but it isn't really.. it's just real life..

the secret's out... the realisations here...so, wilson, time to get off your ass..and start moving..where? maybe I'll just join on someone's wild ride and see where it gets me...

Karaoke, thou shalt be nameless..

2006-11-27T22:27:00.000+07:00

Of all the unimportant things I've ever done... this must surely rank at the top of the list...had karaoke with a bunch of friends last night.... I won't bore you with the details, I believe you will have been in a karaoke joint at some point in your life, either by free will, or with some gentle persuasion (translation: blackmail)..

to make the points short and sweet... you should experience a karaoke..with all your buddies singing mandarin..I really didn't realise there were so many mandarin songs.... and after a while..they really start to sound the same..... :-( thank god there were still english songs....

Feeling Crabby?

2006-10-27T20:27:00.000+07:00

Had massive giant crabs today.... they told me it was Srilankan.... how do they grow these mothers? the claw was easily as big as my hand...and the meat.... peeled off in massive gorgeous chunks, like slabs of chicken pieces... and coated, no, smothered in creamy butter sauces.. the sauce wasn't as good as the one in my first crab experience, but no matter, the meat more than makes up for it..

these crabs were huge.. the meat, sweet and succulent, and the portions.. out of this world... wish I could update you guys on the picture.... but as it stands, you will just have to imagine my blistering fingers, slicked with butter, tearing off those hunks of perfectly cooked crabmeat and devouring it with rakish abandon...... due to obvious reasons, i have never told anyone I'm allergic to crabs... well, yes, I guess this one is worth getting the allergies...

so tonight... I'll be scratching my itches the whole night...and tomorrow first thing in the morning, i'll start planning my next allergy rush trip... :-)

John Mayer Wannabe

2006-10-05T21:19:00.000+07:00

one day, a 4 months ago... while I was alone in my apartement on a sunday morning, I had this epiphany.... what haven't I done that I would like to do....thought hard, thought long... and along came a sudden flash of inspiration... a- ha!!! I'm going to start playing guitar...

visions of wilson serenading along bouncing expertly playing guitar crowded my mind... I was so sure... so positive, so unbelieveably confident that the Wilson, the man with the game, the plan..
is a guitar god in the making...

so... I need a guitar.... no problemo... called my dad... Hi Dad... I know it's inconvenient for you, but when you're coming over to visit me, do you mind bringing me a guitar??? Yes.... the guitar...
I know you have to carry it through customs ... but your son is a guitar god in the making... so how can you deny the world of the untapped unbelieveable talent of wilson in the making?...

so... along came dad... with a guitar.... all the way from indonesia....
and of course... have to arm myself with all the books, guitar chords, learning CD's, all jazz greats of the guitar gods, the Earl Klugh's, Lee Ritenour's, Martin Taylor, Acoustic Alchemy,John Pizzarelli, what have you... and of course..keeping in mind the goal, the target...the dream...

swaying some unbelievely nubile vixen out of her mind with John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland" ... :-)

well.. now... guitar...check... books... check... cd's check.... now... to start playing...

hmmm.. the guitar is untuned... have to start tuning.... damn.... it's hard... took me 3 hours just to tune the damn thing....

and now... to play my first ever chord.....
hmmmm.... this guitar god thing...is probably too much to hope... my fingers hurt... why do they have to make the fret board so unbelieveably small anyway? my nails ache...and I didn't get past the first chord....

so... there ends the first ever guitar practice... and the last since 4 months ago...

just this afternoon... dad called... Wilson, i'm coming over on transit to your place... so.. how's your guitar practice?

.....it's going great....fantastic..... I'm so glad you brought it over........

The Driver --> Comb Connection

2006-10-05T21:06:00.000+07:00

I've noticed a peculiarity with the Singapore company driver... They're mostly Malay, they don't smoke, and they have this thing with hair.... In fact... Forget Singapore company driver, most drivers I know have this obsession with hair...

the hair is always neatly slicked with litres upon litres of pomade, or more commonly, mousse... But most importantly, is the comb...

The comb, regardless of driver, is always the same... It's always bright yellow, it always this big bright yellow handle so it sticks out oh so prominently out of the backpocket, and the location is always at the backpocket, comb side down, handle side up... could it be one of those "mine is bigger than yours thing? " or is it one of those secret society where only certified "hardcore" drivers are allowed to carry the ubiquitous yellow comb? or it's like a secret handshake thing...
whenever you meet on the street, immediately start combing your bright yellow comb, and you get to pass the yellow light? ha......maybe I'm just jealous I don't have a yellow comb...he he..

Let me count the sins..

2006-08-28T14:57:00.000+07:00

I went back to Indonesia last week.. Thought I would at least miss a couple of things...
the jempol noodle, the streetside "bakwan" vendor, at the very least, the indonesian
beauties.... or so it might seem.... as predicted, the dream very much diffes from the
reality... Jakarta is hot... and dusty... the traffic jam is appaling, the beggars even
more offensive than I had remembered, and, worst of all,
jempol noodle sucks big time :-(

and I haven't stopped sneezing from the time I landed to the time I left... now,
back in singapore, I'm sneeze free... Ironic...

in fact, the reason I would ever want to go home for... is family...the old adage is true,
I suppose, home is wherever family is... If they were here... I would definitely
consider myself singaporean... heheheh

mama's boy...

2006-06-26T01:36:00.000+07:00

I change my mind... bluecactus... I'll retract back what i said on not missing home country... I'm at this moment, 2.30 AM... desperately missing Indonesia, staying at home, and being taken care by mom when I'm ill, having a miserable cold and on constant nausea......:-) mama's boy, I am...

I'm wondering why we men, who under normal circumstances are stronger physically than women, but any sign of illness i.e.. cold, flu, fever, we're so much more crybabies than women in the same situation? I admit... when we have a cold... we need some lovin'.. :-)

women, on the other hand... just do the normal thing and move like nothing's happened... My mom would just have a lie in, for an hour/two, and get back to business....dad.. like me... we'll be rolling in bed, asking everything to come to bed, be it breakfast, tv, medicine, whatever...if the bathroom can move next to the bed, we'd do that too...

well.. now.. that doesn't make me feel any better, does it? ah.... I think, the bottom line is... I miss having someone take care of me.. :-) see... writing above doesn't have to always correspond to the conclusion... miserable sick cows who cannot get to sleep at 2.30 AM don't usually care about little details..

Lunch...with benefits...

2006-03-29T21:47:00.000+07:00

You know how everyday you always try and strive to find something good to celebrate about everyday....
well... doesn't matter how you get it or how it happens, or how it will turn out.... had a very nice lunch with a very pretty young lady today...

it's a terrible thing, they're always better to talk to... it's somehow a bonus if they look pretty then no matter how less deficient they are in the art of conversation, they always seem to turn out better judged than someone more or less, say, conventionally built.
this one... is it the whole package? I never know.. it's not for me to judge, but then... so far, this one is interesting in a pretty lady kind of way..

will this conversation get out of topic? I guess it will... we will run out of subjects will sooner or later... no matter how cute her pout is... and oh man, such a cute pout... :-> ....

Tanktops...

2006-03-25T09:46:00.000+07:00

Singapore, is a land of tanktops..

in fact, I think it's more common than t-shirts. Guys wear it, kids wear it, construction workers wear it, old german ladies wear it... of course, girls wear them most of the time... at the office, at home, weddings, cleaning, partying, sleeping, waking, swimming...whatever.....

you know.... I think women knows the power they hold upon us with their tops.... it's not that its too humid to be wearing shirts... its something else....:

1. it gives them the exclusive rights to call us perverts... I mean.... no guy, would pass off the chance to see what's hidden underneath, and now...women claim its our perverted minds that we are looking at them.... and somehow they're not responsible for the fact that by wearing tops they're trigerring our male's primal switch
by wearing tops, they're deviously distracting male attention away from conversation and steering men into humble submission..... example.... have you tried having a conversation with a cute chick on a low cut top? aha... yes... can you concentrate on the conversation or on the subject? forget that, can you concentrate on the face???.... If you can.... well... either you're a woman, or.... well... you're a very well adjusted guy... :-)

really though, i'm agonising over the fact that I remember very little of the conversation, and missing points of the conversation on the merit of a low cut tank top, which had me trying my best to divert my eyes, and failing spectacularly... which she may, or may not notice... Is Kane Perverted then? If she didn't wear such a dress, would I have sneaked a peek? I probably wouldn't....... so, basically speaking, this is a premeditated murder, with the man being the setup for "temporary insanity"

maybe I should be wearing tanktops... maybe then someone would sneak a peek at my melon blossoms.......and let them get distracted..... "sigh" ....

Hiromi!!!!!! Mosaic Jazz Fest

2006-03-24T23:44:00.000+07:00

went to see the Mosaic Jazz Fest. and watch this Japanese pianist firecracker called Hiromi...actually... it should be Hiromi!!!!!!!

No word in english can describe it, "Edan!!" she just never seems to stop... sending shivers up and down the spine.

Currently listening to one of her "autographed" cd's bought right after the show. It's still sending shivers as I'm writing this... Run/crawl, whatever, buy her cd's if you're into jazz...

By Request

2006-03-10T23:21:00.000+07:00

All Right!!!!

my internet connection is NOW up to speed... been having so much time shopping... :-) hey, it's singapore dammit... I have the absolute right to shop and exercise the index and middle finger (to tip the credit card) to buy so-called bargains (which, incidentally, will be sold at a lower price next door) , and sampling foods left and right..... oyster mee suah... now..... if only you don't have to stand up to eat....

what have I bought, well.... speakerstandamplifiersubwoofershortspantspoloshirtsshoesandmoreshoeslotsabooksexerciseballtoysdvdplayerlightetc.....
see... its not to read, but to "understand" and sympathise...

the tank tops... have I told you of them? it's the darndest thing....in my next posting... :-) suffice to say.. tank tops aremore common than buses... and it's always an enlightment in the morning bus to the office, where normally you no longer have a place to sit, and the only available place to stand, coincidentally, is in front of somebody wearing tank tops....unashamedly juvenile, i am....

Cold... Hard... Place

2006-02-12T23:36:00.000+07:00

I just watched an episode of the "apprentice".. This is my 2nd one since last week.. That's right... the couch potato thing is my "new" thing nowadays...
Anyway, I'm genuinely pissed.. by the women... they are really backstabbing each other at every point of the game.. and displaying a total disregard for each other like I've never seen... they're losing every game, that's true... but, really... in this show, I'm amazed by all these so-called Rhodes scholars/ Wharton/ ivy leaguers..., by the way they don't support one another. Their arrogant, selfish, one upmanshipman of one another, and conveniently blaming other people for their losses...
I don't blame one, or the other. I don't know what i would've done if I were in that situation. However... it's scary to think that all of those people could have been, and probably is, sitting just next to you, a time bomb waiting to detonate.... probably, you, yourself, are like that too......yikes.... are we that primal? in the process of being a top dog, do we have to kill other dogs...
perhaps the immortal word is.... Can't we all get along?....

Getting internet connection up to speed

2006-02-11T09:36:00.000+07:00

Ladies/gentlemen..

I'm now connected and online, and whatever have you. and I may consider this my new best friend... haha... so... new update...

my apartement is now a spiffy kind, comes fully furnished with leather couches, two TV's all kitchenette facilities, and located near the river, hence the name, riverside... wake up in the morning and you can sorta feel like living in venice... ha.... kidding.... but it's definitely not ciliwung either... next door is a bakery, where if you're feeling a little wealthy, you can just hop over and have whatever baguette/pesto ciabatta/garlic bread/sourdough etc. with your egg sandwich.... all in all... much better than my actual digs back home...

I miss my car though..... the zipping around, SITTING..... hah..... the carrying around of groceries.... hiks........and now having to contend with rain, wet, jammed bicycle chains, shopping bags that break just precisely at the moment where you have to cross the road.... and i mean, precise.....

bluecactus.... if I were to be asked the same question, do i miss Indonesia? Now? hm... i would say no.... and you shouldn't too.... not even for a million henky tandayu's.....

Positive Thoughts of the Day (Monday)

2005-12-27T12:18:00.000+07:00

Hello...

As per my new resolutions since my Birthday is one positive thoughts a day... so, here it is....

Went to the optic, because my old lenses felt blurry... thought I might added even more minuses to the accumulated minuses due to lack of sleep, 13 hour day on the computer, and endless friendster browsing... Wonder of Wonder.... My Lens minuses are decreasing.... !!! the cylindricals are getting bigger, however, it's a Yin/Yang thing apparently.. But anyway, I'm taking what I've got.. blessing.... hah...... Really, it's one good birthday present... just goes to show you, getting old doesn't always mean getting worse, nice things can still happen......

Next step, how to wear glasses and still look as cool as the Morpheus.... :-)

2005-12-26T10:08:00.000+07:00

Going to Singapore....

Guys... I'll be going to Singapore for a 2006... evidently the company thought that office activities ran so well... they don't need me for at least 1 year, so they kinda loaned me out to the Singapore office.... hey, who am I to complain... free lodging, additional pay... tank tops....

Here's to better beer. :-)

2005-09-17T11:27:00.000+07:00

The New, Improved ( hopefully ) bluebottle...

So, is nothing sacred ? This is the positive, all new, improved, no holds barred, always positive, Kane. Like it ? Good.... Don't like ? Too Bad...