It was a garden. With green grass, fresh from with the dew of yesterday’s rain. The sky, semi cloudy , with rays of sunshine, bursting through, and the smell of grass, perfuming the terrace with its sweet freshness,
There, in the garden….. was you and I…..
Piano tinkling in the background….what music was playing, I cared not…
There you were, in the hammock, long black hair cascading around your face, framing……your dark eyebrows, perfectly adjoining just below the bridge of your nose… Your smile, ever present...your laughter, intoxicating…
There I was, comfortable as never before….
There we were, in the garden, talking, laughing, gesticulating, probing, understanding..
In the garden, You and I, time stood still
There, in the garden…. I never wanted the moment to end…
Monday, February 04, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Adrenaline
Blood pumping,
Heart beating, faster and faster...
Testosterone flowing through your veins...
A lump in the throat that just won't go away, incessant cramping deep in the belly, the constant retching but nothing coming out, also part and parcel of the package.
it's true what they say, people perform best under pressure.
Now let's just see how I do it, wilson style.
I've done it before, I can do it again, I was born for this.
Don't hesitate any longer, Wilson!! Go for it... this is crunch time.
(Gotta do Right, Sometimes - Brand New Heavies)
Heart beating, faster and faster...
Testosterone flowing through your veins...
A lump in the throat that just won't go away, incessant cramping deep in the belly, the constant retching but nothing coming out, also part and parcel of the package.
it's true what they say, people perform best under pressure.
Now let's just see how I do it, wilson style.
I've done it before, I can do it again, I was born for this.
Don't hesitate any longer, Wilson!! Go for it... this is crunch time.
(Gotta do Right, Sometimes - Brand New Heavies)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Changes
Is change good?
Sometimes you question your own mortality and the way mortality has an impact on you…
Growing older sometimes has no impact, in everything other than the way you think about life.
Getting older feels like somebody has patted your back and said..” isn’t it time for you to think of something else?”
And the answer would be…well… I suppose so….the question of your existence and meaning in the world, has less importance than the main question in how are you going to spend your life… what will you be doing? How are you going to survive in this world? the young person’s (read: the guy I was a year ago) idealistic point of view, is getting less relevant, and the question of survival (i.e: more practical issues) has taken over the wild and whimsical meanderings I may have had many moons ago…
Am I jaded? …maybe… Am I pessimistic? No, maybe just a tad realistic… I suppose… I’m worried I’ll be out of it… too out of it to care… to out of touch to worry about little details…
So, I’m making concrete movements to get my life to move along. First and foremost…getting all my itches scratched..
Finishing my never ending, 10 years in the making, loudspeaker… that, is finally done… Pictures to be posted.
Getting my very own , real, hard-ass core mountain bike… that, is also finally done… pictures to be posted soon.
So… what else is left?
I suppose…that would be all the questions that I have always posed in these pages recently.. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.
Yah… you’re right…this year… is the make or break… nothing left to chance anymore.
Sometimes you question your own mortality and the way mortality has an impact on you…
Growing older sometimes has no impact, in everything other than the way you think about life.
Getting older feels like somebody has patted your back and said..” isn’t it time for you to think of something else?”
And the answer would be…well… I suppose so….the question of your existence and meaning in the world, has less importance than the main question in how are you going to spend your life… what will you be doing? How are you going to survive in this world? the young person’s (read: the guy I was a year ago) idealistic point of view, is getting less relevant, and the question of survival (i.e: more practical issues) has taken over the wild and whimsical meanderings I may have had many moons ago…
Am I jaded? …maybe… Am I pessimistic? No, maybe just a tad realistic… I suppose… I’m worried I’ll be out of it… too out of it to care… to out of touch to worry about little details…
So, I’m making concrete movements to get my life to move along. First and foremost…getting all my itches scratched..
Finishing my never ending, 10 years in the making, loudspeaker… that, is finally done… Pictures to be posted.
Getting my very own , real, hard-ass core mountain bike… that, is also finally done… pictures to be posted soon.
So… what else is left?
I suppose…that would be all the questions that I have always posed in these pages recently.. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.
Yah… you’re right…this year… is the make or break… nothing left to chance anymore.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Aftermath....
The Storm has passed...an eerie calm has descended upon the land. Silent, and yet, deafeningly loud .....
All that is left, is the debris, pieces of dreams left shattered, battered by the wind and bashed against the rocks.
time to pick up the pieces and start over again.
All that is left, is the debris, pieces of dreams left shattered, battered by the wind and bashed against the rocks.
time to pick up the pieces and start over again.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
New Year, 2008
Ah, how fast the year moves!!!
It feels just like last week that I wrote the post for new year 2007, and behold, 2008 is here...
how do you rate your 2007? in my previous posting, I predicted that 2007 looked interesting from a 2006 point of view....and after living it... whoa...it has surpassed even my expectations.
it's by far...my most interesting year to date... it's definitely not my best year (too many abysmal disappointments abound to even qualify as a good year), but it is the year that I would remember the most. I've been busy making things happen this year..
It feels just like last week that I wrote the post for new year 2007, and behold, 2008 is here...
how do you rate your 2007? in my previous posting, I predicted that 2007 looked interesting from a 2006 point of view....and after living it... whoa...it has surpassed even my expectations.
it's by far...my most interesting year to date... it's definitely not my best year (too many abysmal disappointments abound to even qualify as a good year), but it is the year that I would remember the most. I've been busy making things happen this year..
- there was a promotion, unexpected, and slightly unnerving
- there was a step into the unknown, making social connections and engaging in
a (surprisingly) evolving cooking class sessions, which has resulted in interactions with people I wouldn't have met in previous life. - there was a "balls-of-fun" trip to Ujung Kulon, which had a repercussion that I couldn't have imagined
- there were multiple challenges, which I wasn't managing as well as I could have, but it was exciting nonetheless
- more importantly... there was more attempts at roller-coastering than I have ever tried in one year..... or any year, for that matter
whaaaaa....!!!!! crazy...
you could say...2007 is my milestone year... now, there's no turning back. I've gone too far to stop now... Wilson is now well and truly a different animal.....
how does 2008 look then? hmmm...my crystal ball's not out yet...that may need a quiet blogging session with andrea bocelli overlooking the clarke quay river, which I promise to do... very soon.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Turning 30
"I remember as I turned 30 I said, "I have no more excuses for myself. I've got to figure these things out.- Brad Pitt"
Yup…an additional notch on my virtual belt… I usually do not do birthday posts, simply because
1. after your 21st birthday, all the yearly counting seems so terribly calculating. You’re getting older, it’s the only thing you really need to know.
2. Most of my birthdays isn’t worth mentioning about, the activities are mostly non-existent, and I usually spend it alone, with a bottle of my favourite tipple…
So, why is this birthday worth a mention in this precious blog?
Well… it is the big Three-Oh, ain’t it? the next phase of your life, where… things start to happen..where you will be judged purely on your “manly” abilities, where you decide the direction of your life. And make decisions that will have serious consequences on your life. Wilson can no longer fool around and think of life like it has no consequences.
The only problem is… the longer I think, the less progress I seem to make.. nothing is getting clearer, everything seems blurrier… the more I know, the less I understand, the more I have to learn.. does anyone have a clear idea where they need to be by the time they’re 30? Or am I the only one groping in the dark?
Well, no more.. I’m getting out of this rut…like Brad there, I’ll be be making no excuses for myself this year… it may involve moving out, pursuing other ventures, it will be about getting over my fear of commitment. It will be about getting over my hesitance on meeting/organising people. Wilson is coming out.
Yup…an additional notch on my virtual belt… I usually do not do birthday posts, simply because
1. after your 21st birthday, all the yearly counting seems so terribly calculating. You’re getting older, it’s the only thing you really need to know.
2. Most of my birthdays isn’t worth mentioning about, the activities are mostly non-existent, and I usually spend it alone, with a bottle of my favourite tipple…
So, why is this birthday worth a mention in this precious blog?
Well… it is the big Three-Oh, ain’t it? the next phase of your life, where… things start to happen..where you will be judged purely on your “manly” abilities, where you decide the direction of your life. And make decisions that will have serious consequences on your life. Wilson can no longer fool around and think of life like it has no consequences.
The only problem is… the longer I think, the less progress I seem to make.. nothing is getting clearer, everything seems blurrier… the more I know, the less I understand, the more I have to learn.. does anyone have a clear idea where they need to be by the time they’re 30? Or am I the only one groping in the dark?
Well, no more.. I’m getting out of this rut…like Brad there, I’ll be be making no excuses for myself this year… it may involve moving out, pursuing other ventures, it will be about getting over my fear of commitment. It will be about getting over my hesitance on meeting/organising people. Wilson is coming out.
and by the way, Ms. S, it will also be about your birthday card. The cutest birthday card I've ever had!!... Thank You!!!...
Love Makes you Fat
Firstly, a disclaimer, No… I’m not in Love… at least, I’d like to think that I’m reasonably well adjusted enough to recognise that Love, if anything, is akin to consuming large amounts of chocolate… (which actually, does make you fat too…hmmm…that’s a whole new topic, isn’t it?). and I do believe, that, love, if anything, needs time to marinate, and at any stage before a time of maturation ( an extended period, at least), is only a high level of infatuation.
I am though, bewitched by certain, let’s say..creature…..of infinite interest and a certain feminine guile, which does render me unacceptably unfocused and babble like no guy my age ever should, battling late night sleepiness to talk for hours on the phone, and had me mentally & physically writing down notes of conversations points if I ever, God Forbid, run out of subject to talk about.
But, that’s not the issue. The issue here, is that, when you start trying to fit in your schedules to fit your (possibly) significant other, you inevitably find yourself meeting at the most inconvenient of times for somebody who is trying to go on a diet.
The choice of dinner places (i.e. cosy comfortable spots), tend to focus more on the mood food (creamy, sweet, rich, fragrant, indulgent) food which would be unsuitable for someone, say, 13 kilos above the ideal weight. I try, of course, to find healthier alternatives, but at the end of the day, atmosphere and setting wins over food choices. Thus, true the adage, being in love makes you fat.
Is it worth the additional weight, the uncomfortably tight trouser, the uncomfortable feeling of guiltily adding kilos that would take months, maybe even years, to shed?
I can’t say… in this one, the process does not guarantee the result.
I am though, bewitched by certain, let’s say..creature…..of infinite interest and a certain feminine guile, which does render me unacceptably unfocused and babble like no guy my age ever should, battling late night sleepiness to talk for hours on the phone, and had me mentally & physically writing down notes of conversations points if I ever, God Forbid, run out of subject to talk about.
But, that’s not the issue. The issue here, is that, when you start trying to fit in your schedules to fit your (possibly) significant other, you inevitably find yourself meeting at the most inconvenient of times for somebody who is trying to go on a diet.
The choice of dinner places (i.e. cosy comfortable spots), tend to focus more on the mood food (creamy, sweet, rich, fragrant, indulgent) food which would be unsuitable for someone, say, 13 kilos above the ideal weight. I try, of course, to find healthier alternatives, but at the end of the day, atmosphere and setting wins over food choices. Thus, true the adage, being in love makes you fat.
Is it worth the additional weight, the uncomfortably tight trouser, the uncomfortable feeling of guiltily adding kilos that would take months, maybe even years, to shed?
I can’t say… in this one, the process does not guarantee the result.
Regardless, I enjoy every minute of it, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.
Now perhaps, that, is the most important thing
Friday, October 12, 2007
Boys will be boys
" I have the Audi A4 Hot Rod Edition!!! " a colleague exclaimed excitedly. "oh , that's nothing, I got the LE (Limited Edition) Navy blue Ferrari Enzo just yesterday", my manager scoffed...
"well yes, but do you have the Toyota LandCruiser Arctic Expedition version in white ??" another colleague, claimed, fresh from his business trip to Japan .
no, we don't work the stock market, and no, neither does any of our colleagues... neither do we own any of the cash needed to keep those esoteric cars on the road, let alone buy them... so, what we are talking , about, is Hot Wheels.
Hot Wheels? yup, those toys cars of (supposedly) in accurate (extremely) scaled down version, stuff you give out to your baby cousin (preferably under 5 years old) who will insufferably scream with glee and proceed to open and wreck the toy cars within a matter of minutes.
These guys are way more serious... first of all, they don't ever open the plastic boxes..
Secondly...they take extreme measures to go hunt for these "special edition" Hotwheels, toy shops, supermarkets, etc, wherever...
Thirdly, they even have a special display case for them to show-off their pride and joy, at the behest of their wives, who really thinks that 30-something with kid(s) in tow don't really need to collect things they should have collected over 25 years ago when it is more appropriate for them to do so....
"well yes, but do you have the Toyota LandCruiser Arctic Expedition version in white ??" another colleague, claimed, fresh from his business trip to Japan .
no, we don't work the stock market, and no, neither does any of our colleagues... neither do we own any of the cash needed to keep those esoteric cars on the road, let alone buy them... so, what we are talking , about, is Hot Wheels.
Hot Wheels? yup, those toys cars of (supposedly) in accurate (extremely) scaled down version, stuff you give out to your baby cousin (preferably under 5 years old) who will insufferably scream with glee and proceed to open and wreck the toy cars within a matter of minutes.
These guys are way more serious... first of all, they don't ever open the plastic boxes..
Secondly...they take extreme measures to go hunt for these "special edition" Hotwheels, toy shops, supermarkets, etc, wherever...
Thirdly, they even have a special display case for them to show-off their pride and joy, at the behest of their wives, who really thinks that 30-something with kid(s) in tow don't really need to collect things they should have collected over 25 years ago when it is more appropriate for them to do so....
I'm a little envious..I can't actually see the point of collecting these things....but it must be fun to have such an easy, painless, hobby..:-) as for me, I'll stick to my chef's knife, and dream about making the perfect chicken fried steak... :-)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Unique
I hate to admit it…
Don’t you spend days doing things that supposed separate you from the “normal” people in your life..
Only to find that you are.. embarassingly.. not only normal.. but very normal… even more than just normal..conservative, even…
Like spending millions of rupiah on something other than “Nokia”……just for the sake of being different, and ending up.. with a blarsted Nokia phone 2 months later…..like eating a certain “exotic” food such as… “foie gras”, or “fettucine con funghi”, only to find that…well… you prefer the plain-jane grilled chicken and spaghetti bolognese…
…Being Normal means you don’t run the risk of having a different problem from everybody else, which means, having to solve a problem nobody else knows the solution to…
And doing something that will be……”safe”….
Well…yeah..I’m normal.. I wear the same clothes as everybody else, use the same phone… eat the same food.. talk the same way..laugh at the same jokes..buy the same things…
But I wish I could be just slightly… slightly different… wish someone would say to another… ‘ hey, that’s wilson.. you know him?’… and she would say
‘ oh ya, he’s that quirky guy, right? … “ he’s…. unique” ….
Now that would be nice…
P.S. : as of last night..I got my wish...the exact words are.."you know wilson, you're unique.." music to my ears..
Don’t you spend days doing things that supposed separate you from the “normal” people in your life..
Only to find that you are.. embarassingly.. not only normal.. but very normal… even more than just normal..conservative, even…
Like spending millions of rupiah on something other than “Nokia”……just for the sake of being different, and ending up.. with a blarsted Nokia phone 2 months later…..like eating a certain “exotic” food such as… “foie gras”, or “fettucine con funghi”, only to find that…well… you prefer the plain-jane grilled chicken and spaghetti bolognese…
…Being Normal means you don’t run the risk of having a different problem from everybody else, which means, having to solve a problem nobody else knows the solution to…
And doing something that will be……”safe”….
Well…yeah..I’m normal.. I wear the same clothes as everybody else, use the same phone… eat the same food.. talk the same way..laugh at the same jokes..buy the same things…
But I wish I could be just slightly… slightly different… wish someone would say to another… ‘ hey, that’s wilson.. you know him?’… and she would say
‘ oh ya, he’s that quirky guy, right? … “ he’s…. unique” ….
Now that would be nice…
P.S. : as of last night..I got my wish...the exact words are.."you know wilson, you're unique.." music to my ears..
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Are you Experienced?
I've been out of the loop for a while...
could say it's a lack of things to report..but ,not so... actually I've been trying to construct a roller coaster of my own...
so, was I successful? well..sadly no... but it was one hell of a journey... wild mood swings, supressed emotional outbursts, and constantly simmering undercurrent of tension... it's true what they say, it's a thin line between love & hate..
so why didn't it work out? well...that doesn't really matter, thats just for me and her to know..
but I've learned alot along the way...
Basic…everyday household things I should have learned a long time ago stuff… :-)
Let is flow… enjoy yourself, and don’t expect too much of yourself.. the result is not the end goal,
and never should be, the process should just be as enjoyable…
but progress, is a must.. one foot in front of the other, don’t stop…
and don’t hesitate, and when you decide to stop, be it on your own terms… a little cliched, but, it's new...for me anyway...
I’m getting serious, aren’t I… well..its an interesting subject… here’s to painful progress..
At least now…I can sing with Jimi Hendrix and scream “ yeah, baby, I’m experiencing !!”
could say it's a lack of things to report..but ,not so... actually I've been trying to construct a roller coaster of my own...
so, was I successful? well..sadly no... but it was one hell of a journey... wild mood swings, supressed emotional outbursts, and constantly simmering undercurrent of tension... it's true what they say, it's a thin line between love & hate..
so why didn't it work out? well...that doesn't really matter, thats just for me and her to know..
but I've learned alot along the way...
Basic…everyday household things I should have learned a long time ago stuff… :-)
Let is flow… enjoy yourself, and don’t expect too much of yourself.. the result is not the end goal,
and never should be, the process should just be as enjoyable…
but progress, is a must.. one foot in front of the other, don’t stop…
and don’t hesitate, and when you decide to stop, be it on your own terms… a little cliched, but, it's new...for me anyway...
I’m getting serious, aren’t I… well..its an interesting subject… here’s to painful progress..
At least now…I can sing with Jimi Hendrix and scream “ yeah, baby, I’m experiencing !!”
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Saying Goodbye..
I just sold my first car..
Had a lot of great memories in that car… I never thought I’d be this sorry to see it go… the trips to Senayan with buddies on our weekly (ok, maybe monthly..) squash games, the heartbreaks, dates with a certain celebrity with huge eyes, killer legs..and an explosive personality to match…..and the last, a “friendly” conversation with a bushy moustached police, a pothole…and, of course, with the vivacious Ms. MES, it was memorable in more ways than one.
Really, really felt that a chunk of my life has gone… never to return.. funny how one can feel so bad about missing a car…I haven’t even named the car yet…
A picture of it on the blog, a momento, of the good times we had together, before it leaves for its new owner…
Had a lot of great memories in that car… I never thought I’d be this sorry to see it go… the trips to Senayan with buddies on our weekly (ok, maybe monthly..) squash games, the heartbreaks, dates with a certain celebrity with huge eyes, killer legs..and an explosive personality to match…..and the last, a “friendly” conversation with a bushy moustached police, a pothole…and, of course, with the vivacious Ms. MES, it was memorable in more ways than one.
Really, really felt that a chunk of my life has gone… never to return.. funny how one can feel so bad about missing a car…I haven’t even named the car yet…
A picture of it on the blog, a momento, of the good times we had together, before it leaves for its new owner…
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Romance, and all that entails...
On a ride home she said to me..” you know Wilson, you’re so not romantic! “
Jolted and ever-so-slightly stung, I challenged her “not romantic, me? In what way? Please define Romantic ? “
She mentioned, a little too quickly, perhaps… “ Romantic… is being there when they need you..action, rather than words..”
“you… don’t seem to need anybody..you don’t show enough care”
I didn’t challenge her any further, for fear of sounding “Non Romantic”.
Perhaps I should. This puzzles me. A guy is always around when they’re interested in a person. It’s not that hard to do..
Whether we care or not, is another thing. Some guys can fake it, some cannot… , how can you care so much if you’ve only just met that particular person?
I think women just want to be fooled a little more… an show of affection, an extravagant show of attention, all in the name of
“I care about you”..and have women swoon with “oh, he’s sooo romantic!... he’s the man for me…”
Do I care about what she thinks? Well, yes, maybe, a little… that should tell you about my frame of mind at this moment… as for the rest..I’ll keep it to myself at this time…
Jolted and ever-so-slightly stung, I challenged her “not romantic, me? In what way? Please define Romantic ? “
She mentioned, a little too quickly, perhaps… “ Romantic… is being there when they need you..action, rather than words..”
“you… don’t seem to need anybody..you don’t show enough care”
I didn’t challenge her any further, for fear of sounding “Non Romantic”.
Perhaps I should. This puzzles me. A guy is always around when they’re interested in a person. It’s not that hard to do..
Whether we care or not, is another thing. Some guys can fake it, some cannot… , how can you care so much if you’ve only just met that particular person?
I think women just want to be fooled a little more… an show of affection, an extravagant show of attention, all in the name of
“I care about you”..and have women swoon with “oh, he’s sooo romantic!... he’s the man for me…”
Do I care about what she thinks? Well, yes, maybe, a little… that should tell you about my frame of mind at this moment… as for the rest..I’ll keep it to myself at this time…
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Shampoo
Had the most interesting experience yesterday…
A friend, shall we say, a metrosexual fashionista male friend… forced me to a hair salon yesterday, all the while muttering “Wilson, your hair is so unfashionable…boring… you need a haircut”… and stuff like…” you need new clothes, polo shirt is SO out of date, I can’t go clubbing with you with THAT kind of shirt…”
I expected to have a nauseating, deadly boring experience (a.k.a. waiting for your mom in hair salon and listening to middle-aged customer’s mindless drivel with a perpetual half-smile pasted on your face)…
But surprisingly enough…what followed was one of the most relaxing hour I’ve had in recent memory. The place was quiet, the interior classy, the conversations, discreet.. and the hair wash… divine…… I’m really beginning to see why women enjoy going to the salon so much… I could really get used to this…
As for the haircut..let’s just say that I had one of those so-called new “edgy” style haircut, replete with the spiky antenna-like protuberations…. As to which my friend pronounced as “excellent, very fresh!” ….to be honest, I really can’t see what the fuss is all about…. It looks like a volleyball with an angry porcupine on top… ?
Anyway, regardless of hair style, if given the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat…
A friend, shall we say, a metrosexual fashionista male friend… forced me to a hair salon yesterday, all the while muttering “Wilson, your hair is so unfashionable…boring… you need a haircut”… and stuff like…” you need new clothes, polo shirt is SO out of date, I can’t go clubbing with you with THAT kind of shirt…”
I expected to have a nauseating, deadly boring experience (a.k.a. waiting for your mom in hair salon and listening to middle-aged customer’s mindless drivel with a perpetual half-smile pasted on your face)…
But surprisingly enough…what followed was one of the most relaxing hour I’ve had in recent memory. The place was quiet, the interior classy, the conversations, discreet.. and the hair wash… divine…… I’m really beginning to see why women enjoy going to the salon so much… I could really get used to this…
As for the haircut..let’s just say that I had one of those so-called new “edgy” style haircut, replete with the spiky antenna-like protuberations…. As to which my friend pronounced as “excellent, very fresh!” ….to be honest, I really can’t see what the fuss is all about…. It looks like a volleyball with an angry porcupine on top… ?
Anyway, regardless of hair style, if given the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat…
Bluecactus, still missing your hengky tandayu? :-)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
A lack of Inspiration
I somehow found that my well of blog ideas has dried up since returning back home to Indonesia…
what is it about this city that has sucked out my life juices? Could it be the endless working hours?
Could it be the apparent lack of culture in this city?... seemingly endless expanses of the concrete jungle with nary a
Tree in sight, or only a single lone, poor, extremely dusty, sad excuse of a tree beaten down with bustling cars, and endless rows of motorcycles..
Or could it be hopelessness…where no news is good news, the first thing that greets you when you start to the office is one of the many child-beggars, lining the street, looking so plaintively for a few nickel & dimes...where nothing seems to be getting better anytime soon.. the smell of despair in giant empty malls, filled with items most people are unable to buy, hence the expression “walking around”.. not shopping, just walking, looking, dreaming…
I’ll be enthusiastic again… I know I will… I’ll get it back..Now, if I can just stop comparing this place to Singapore….. ha ha…
what is it about this city that has sucked out my life juices? Could it be the endless working hours?
Could it be the apparent lack of culture in this city?... seemingly endless expanses of the concrete jungle with nary a
Tree in sight, or only a single lone, poor, extremely dusty, sad excuse of a tree beaten down with bustling cars, and endless rows of motorcycles..
Or could it be hopelessness…where no news is good news, the first thing that greets you when you start to the office is one of the many child-beggars, lining the street, looking so plaintively for a few nickel & dimes...where nothing seems to be getting better anytime soon.. the smell of despair in giant empty malls, filled with items most people are unable to buy, hence the expression “walking around”.. not shopping, just walking, looking, dreaming…
I’ll be enthusiastic again… I know I will… I’ll get it back..Now, if I can just stop comparing this place to Singapore….. ha ha…
She Didn’t Look..
Came home one evening..coming along a particularly busy intersection. I stopped, waiting for traffic to subside… as I was just about ready to turn, a woman, an old lady with a feather-duster, walked by, casually… right in front of my car...
She didn’t stop, didn’t even think about stopping…… despite the obvious danger it posed on her, as well as my own well being… that wasn’t my first thought.. if anything, it was her face…
Her face, registered nothing, not a single flicker of concern.. not a single look of awareness… it was, for lack of a better word..hard as stone.. it’s as if, she doesn’t care… of anything, anybody, of herself.. living, dying.. it’s all the same…
I felt guilty, somehow.. I don’t know what I was guilty for, but nevertheless, felt guilty…I don’t think anybody has that right to stop caring about themselves so much..... naïve, I know….still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty
She didn’t stop, didn’t even think about stopping…… despite the obvious danger it posed on her, as well as my own well being… that wasn’t my first thought.. if anything, it was her face…
Her face, registered nothing, not a single flicker of concern.. not a single look of awareness… it was, for lack of a better word..hard as stone.. it’s as if, she doesn’t care… of anything, anybody, of herself.. living, dying.. it’s all the same…
I felt guilty, somehow.. I don’t know what I was guilty for, but nevertheless, felt guilty…I don’t think anybody has that right to stop caring about themselves so much..... naïve, I know….still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty
Saturday, March 31, 2007
In Pursuit of Happiness..
No… it’s not a review of the movie ( which I haven’t watched, btw).. and which this blog will never be…
The sentence itself, somehow had me thinking about happiness. What really makes people happy?
Common definition, “ being happy is wanting what you have, and having what you want.. yes…partly true…but..
we're designed to never be contented, and to always want more.. and if that is the case, how can we ever be happy?
what we want always changes.. if you own a Lamborghini.. on some days you might really want that foxy black Ferrari sitting In your neighbour’s garage (assuming, of course, that you live in such exalted neighbourhood).. So that definition, I feel, isn’t quite correct
So Wilson, what do you feel is correct? Well, This is the result of some deep contemplation over a cup of cappucino and watching scantily
clad women eating french fries in McDonalds Clarke Quay after their clubbing session…. So, yes, this is serious.. (in case you’re asking, this is an old post I forgot all about until now)..
It involves money, but not lots of it..it involves a certain kind of comfort, but not too much of it. And it involves kind of challenge and target.
So this is my definition : Having what you need, without actually having what you REALLY want.
To my mind, to achieve a certain level of happiness, a person must also have a certain level of unhappiness. An unhappiness that they can fix and do something about. In essence, a target. To be truly happy, you must have everything that you need.. but you must also have something you want BUT is difficult for you to get.
Think about it… have you ever dreamed about getting something you really wanted, only to feel a sense of loss? It seems, somehow dreaming about it is better than actually having it…..
wanting what you have is not something that humans are designed to do. I think we’re happier to have a challenge rather than be challengeless and have things handed to you on a silver platter….
There is no conclusion to this post, it just shows how illogical we humans are.. I wonder if everything in earth works in the same way….
The sentence itself, somehow had me thinking about happiness. What really makes people happy?
Common definition, “ being happy is wanting what you have, and having what you want.. yes…partly true…but..
we're designed to never be contented, and to always want more.. and if that is the case, how can we ever be happy?
what we want always changes.. if you own a Lamborghini.. on some days you might really want that foxy black Ferrari sitting In your neighbour’s garage (assuming, of course, that you live in such exalted neighbourhood).. So that definition, I feel, isn’t quite correct
So Wilson, what do you feel is correct? Well, This is the result of some deep contemplation over a cup of cappucino and watching scantily
clad women eating french fries in McDonalds Clarke Quay after their clubbing session…. So, yes, this is serious.. (in case you’re asking, this is an old post I forgot all about until now)..
It involves money, but not lots of it..it involves a certain kind of comfort, but not too much of it. And it involves kind of challenge and target.
So this is my definition : Having what you need, without actually having what you REALLY want.
To my mind, to achieve a certain level of happiness, a person must also have a certain level of unhappiness. An unhappiness that they can fix and do something about. In essence, a target. To be truly happy, you must have everything that you need.. but you must also have something you want BUT is difficult for you to get.
Think about it… have you ever dreamed about getting something you really wanted, only to feel a sense of loss? It seems, somehow dreaming about it is better than actually having it…..
wanting what you have is not something that humans are designed to do. I think we’re happier to have a challenge rather than be challengeless and have things handed to you on a silver platter….
There is no conclusion to this post, it just shows how illogical we humans are.. I wonder if everything in earth works in the same way….
Monday, February 12, 2007
Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai
Had a chat with my friend in Starbucks, about a month ago.. and the talk, inevitably turned towards men-women relationships and why women sometimes end up with guys that are wrong to begin with... at that moment, my friend mentioned that they have a Chinese Saying.....
"Nan Ren Bu huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai"
(Men Not Bad, Women Don't Like)
translated loosely, women don't like guys that aren't bad, impressive fact that the chinese even have a saying for these things...my thoughts immediately turned towards... Hugh Jackman..
Why Hugh Jackman, may you ask?
well..another friend of mind (yes, D, if you're reading this)..mentioned to me, while we were talking on the subject of cloning, she mentioned to me... "if I'd like to clone somebody, it would be Hugh Jackman..."... now, why would anyone want to clone that broody, 230 pounds of solid muscle mass? I must mention that my friend here, is an academic through and through, someone who, on the surface, at least, I would expect to to prefer somebody more...intellegent,dashing...somebody like... Jude Law, or something.... but no... Hugh Jackman it is... the Wolverine... dark, broody, unsmiling, dangerous, unpredictable good guy/bad guy.
and the last straw... my last research comment is from a Japanese fashionista, during lunch, she mentioned to me ( in that oh-so-cute japanese accent).... "umm.... I..rike..bad boys...rike.. colin Farrell...he's so hot..."...
so, comments from three different spectrum of people , from a sensible girl-next-door Singaporean, an uber-intellectual Indonesian, and a fashionista Japanese... and they all have the same comment..i.e. preference... ...
so... what is it with bad boys? there is a pattern here... women seems to automatically identify with something that they know is bad for them...as somebody they prefer? it's such a puzzle...
now, it seems, regardless, when it comes to women, I know which side of the fence I should be sitting in...
"Nan Ren Bu huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai"
(Men Not Bad, Women Don't Like)
translated loosely, women don't like guys that aren't bad, impressive fact that the chinese even have a saying for these things...my thoughts immediately turned towards... Hugh Jackman..
Why Hugh Jackman, may you ask?
well..another friend of mind (yes, D, if you're reading this)..mentioned to me, while we were talking on the subject of cloning, she mentioned to me... "if I'd like to clone somebody, it would be Hugh Jackman..."... now, why would anyone want to clone that broody, 230 pounds of solid muscle mass? I must mention that my friend here, is an academic through and through, someone who, on the surface, at least, I would expect to to prefer somebody more...intellegent,dashing...somebody like... Jude Law, or something.... but no... Hugh Jackman it is... the Wolverine... dark, broody, unsmiling, dangerous, unpredictable good guy/bad guy.
and the last straw... my last research comment is from a Japanese fashionista, during lunch, she mentioned to me ( in that oh-so-cute japanese accent).... "umm.... I..rike..bad boys...rike.. colin Farrell...he's so hot..."...
so, comments from three different spectrum of people , from a sensible girl-next-door Singaporean, an uber-intellectual Indonesian, and a fashionista Japanese... and they all have the same comment..i.e. preference... ...
so... what is it with bad boys? there is a pattern here... women seems to automatically identify with something that they know is bad for them...as somebody they prefer? it's such a puzzle...
now, it seems, regardless, when it comes to women, I know which side of the fence I should be sitting in...
Monday, February 05, 2007
Left My Heart in Singapore
it's time to go soon...
it's time to face to music and dance... but, let me say this...I will forever miss Singapore....say what you will for it being antiseptic, boring, predictable, the asian country equivalent of a golf course... the comments, of course, true.. but I don't care.... I wouldn't mind living next to a golf course, thats for one.... a list of things I will miss:
1. strolling home from work at nights.. and just walk wherever I want, whenever I want...without ever having to think of my safety.......just walking.... and feeling free to explore nooks and cranny without ever having to pre-think if this part town is safe to go to...
2. a combination of culture.. singapore is the equivalent of a mini park... go one mile.. china town, the other mile... little india... another mile.. geylang serai... everything in one country...different people, different culture, blended together with it's own distinctive personality
3. I never, ever feel like a foreigner in Singapore... at any time of the day you will find a chinese, Indian, malay, and europeans walking on the street..
4. the air... breathing freely in and out... no funky smell... not having to wipe your face with a wet towel everytime you come inside the house to wipe all the grime.. not having to sweep the floor every day for dust
5. and of course... food... I can't get enough of the food here...I'm sure Indonesia also has such varieties, but I've yet to find them...they just seem to blur into such predictable varieties...
and you have to spend so much just to find a place to hang out...whereas... the kopi stall next door in singapore is nice enough to hang out in... and have decent pratas to boot...
literally and figuratively, I left my heart in Singapore... in time... maybe.. my heart will follow me back to Indonesia..but for the time being... I may just have to manage without one....
bluecactus, will you ever think of coming back to Indonesia for good?
it's time to face to music and dance... but, let me say this...I will forever miss Singapore....say what you will for it being antiseptic, boring, predictable, the asian country equivalent of a golf course... the comments, of course, true.. but I don't care.... I wouldn't mind living next to a golf course, thats for one.... a list of things I will miss:
1. strolling home from work at nights.. and just walk wherever I want, whenever I want...without ever having to think of my safety.......just walking.... and feeling free to explore nooks and cranny without ever having to pre-think if this part town is safe to go to...
2. a combination of culture.. singapore is the equivalent of a mini park... go one mile.. china town, the other mile... little india... another mile.. geylang serai... everything in one country...different people, different culture, blended together with it's own distinctive personality
3. I never, ever feel like a foreigner in Singapore... at any time of the day you will find a chinese, Indian, malay, and europeans walking on the street..
4. the air... breathing freely in and out... no funky smell... not having to wipe your face with a wet towel everytime you come inside the house to wipe all the grime.. not having to sweep the floor every day for dust
5. and of course... food... I can't get enough of the food here...I'm sure Indonesia also has such varieties, but I've yet to find them...they just seem to blur into such predictable varieties...
and you have to spend so much just to find a place to hang out...whereas... the kopi stall next door in singapore is nice enough to hang out in... and have decent pratas to boot...
literally and figuratively, I left my heart in Singapore... in time... maybe.. my heart will follow me back to Indonesia..but for the time being... I may just have to manage without one....
bluecactus, will you ever think of coming back to Indonesia for good?
An Indian Summer
... this is Indian week.. and as per recommendations by food bloggers, the Indian place to go to have is at Sri Kamala Vilas, a hole-in-the-wall establishment in Little India... yup... as the picture shows.. the place isn't cool... but the food....really is quite excellent... and very affordable
I managed to ask (translation: blackmail) a couple of (new) friends on a culinary tour to test out the place (translation: lab rats)... really guys/ladies, I'm sorry if I was a little pushy on your menu selection!!!... no malice was intended... just some dents in your wallet, I swear! don't think badly of me.. it's just food... :-)
taking honour of first place.. biryani chicken...really surprised on this one.. it was really good..the rice was perfectly separated, fragrant and well oiled.. and the herbs were just nice.. light and with none of that musty smell prevalent in lesser establishments 
next.. chappati... must admit I'm a little undecided on this one... it's ok.. but nothing exciting....
blackmail 2, masala thosai
this is, arguably, the most popular dish in the restaurant... most of the table I saw had some version of it. it is basically normal thosai wrapped around mashed potato filling. definitely lived up to its reputation... and for $2.60.. very filling...
blackmail 3, chan bhattura...
this is the hardest person to blackmail of all... :-) but I think he would agree that my choice was pretty good..... this is basically fried pastry.. but due to the intense deep fry, blown up resemble semi-inflated volley ball size.....you need to pierce the ball to squeeze the hot air out.. this is eaten with chick peas and a squeeze of lemon...this one is still my favourite south indian bread.
poori
basically two smaller sized version of chan bhattura... some people would say that two small portions is better than one big one (in the case of fish, for example).. and on most cases I would agree, however not in this case.. for some reason poori is heavier and more brittle than bhattura... maybe the heat tends to overcook the poori's quicker than it does bhattura...
chicken masala
this is the pride and joy of the restaurant, and on this one, I have to agree.. most masala chicken I've tried seem to be excessively salty, and make you feel like you're eating spices with chicken, instead of the other around.. this one is quite different... what seems to make this one different is the addition of sour tomato in their blend.. one bite of this masala chicken really is explosion of flavour... the chicken is well marinated, without being excessively salty, also the spices does not leave a bitter aftertaste.. and the tomatoes, really bring the much needed sour tang to provide relief to the heavy spices...
all in all... a successful expedition.. and one more reason to miss Singapore even more...
I managed to ask (translation: blackmail) a couple of (new) friends on a culinary tour to test out the place (translation: lab rats)... really guys/ladies, I'm sorry if I was a little pushy on your menu selection!!!... no malice was intended... just some dents in your wallet, I swear! don't think badly of me.. it's just food... :-)
taking honour of first place.. biryani chicken...really surprised on this one.. it was really good..the rice was perfectly separated, fragrant and well oiled.. and the herbs were just nice.. light and with none of that musty smell prevalent in lesser establishments next.. chappati... must admit I'm a little undecided on this one... it's ok.. but nothing exciting.... 
we're moving on to blackmail 1, paper thosai.. :-)
these mothers are huge!!... must be one and half foot of extra crispy thin thosais... pretty cool when presented on the plate and all... but maybe it was a little too crispy for some..and lacked a little... sponginess...:-)
blackmail 2, masala thosai
this is, arguably, the most popular dish in the restaurant... most of the table I saw had some version of it. it is basically normal thosai wrapped around mashed potato filling. definitely lived up to its reputation... and for $2.60.. very filling...
blackmail 3, chan bhattura...
this is the hardest person to blackmail of all... :-) but I think he would agree that my choice was pretty good..... this is basically fried pastry.. but due to the intense deep fry, blown up resemble semi-inflated volley ball size.....you need to pierce the ball to squeeze the hot air out.. this is eaten with chick peas and a squeeze of lemon...this one is still my favourite south indian bread.
poori
basically two smaller sized version of chan bhattura... some people would say that two small portions is better than one big one (in the case of fish, for example).. and on most cases I would agree, however not in this case.. for some reason poori is heavier and more brittle than bhattura... maybe the heat tends to overcook the poori's quicker than it does bhattura...
chicken masala
this is the pride and joy of the restaurant, and on this one, I have to agree.. most masala chicken I've tried seem to be excessively salty, and make you feel like you're eating spices with chicken, instead of the other around.. this one is quite different... what seems to make this one different is the addition of sour tomato in their blend.. one bite of this masala chicken really is explosion of flavour... the chicken is well marinated, without being excessively salty, also the spices does not leave a bitter aftertaste.. and the tomatoes, really bring the much needed sour tang to provide relief to the heavy spices...
all in all... a successful expedition.. and one more reason to miss Singapore even more...
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Late Night Haunts
as a post to remember all the singaporean things that I will be missing...my favourite prata stall.. coincidentally.. one of the best night haunts.. if you're ever stuck and hungry in river valley rd. at 1AM.. this is the place to be.. Spize Makan Place
ironically enough, I don't have any picture of pratas... i seem to have wolfed through it everytime before i remembered to take pictures... :-( so... unless I get some stuff down before leaving..(which isn't very likely)... this will have to do..chicken biryani...my opinion.. just ok.. nothing exciting..but the best is yet to come..
they have more success with the thai fried rice, with tom yam seafood..nasi pad prik, the name, I think... the combination of pineapple fried rice and the sweet sourish tom yam inspired sauce really hit it off...
and have i told you of Roti John? well, it's like a western/indian food, that's only available in singapore... basically, it is egg and minced mutton slammed between slices of french bread and drizzled with indian rojak-inspired sauce and gravy... I really think spize has the best I've tried so far ( which really isn't saying much)
oh my... I'm tearing up inside... will i really have to settle for bubur ayam when I'm back in jakarta? sniff...
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