There room was dimly lit. darker, and bleaker than usual.
The piano was silent, black, foreboding
The garden, featureless, shapeless, covered in shadows of darkness
You were all in black, long black hair cascading, your face, set in stone, eyebrows firmly joined together in the centre.
Rivers of tears cascaded down your face. Through all your tears, I still can’t help but notice how magnificently beautiful you are
There, ended the dream. There, everything stopped moving.
My throat, dry as sandpaper, My tongue, bitter as the coffee in my hand.
My brain, unable to make sense of it all, My senses, numb. My heart, packed up, left and hasn’t returned since.
I don’t understand.
You owe me, some kind of love.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Reality Bites
Saying Yes is the easy part... Now comes the fight to stay relevant and alive...
What is it about, you will just have to guess... What I can tell you, is that it involves a certain kind of commitment, and a lifelong bond which cannot be broken, and it also involves a lot of compromises, sharing and communication, of which the enormity has just struck home...
Maybe, for the first time in my life, I'm moving forward blindly, without a clear direction, going with the flow and wondering where all this may lead to..cautiously optimistic, but very, very worried about where it is taking me...Can i manage, can i handle it, can I be the person that I need to be?
Wilson's growing up really fast, real soon.... you never know...it could just well be, the ride of a lifetime... :-P...
What is it about, you will just have to guess... What I can tell you, is that it involves a certain kind of commitment, and a lifelong bond which cannot be broken, and it also involves a lot of compromises, sharing and communication, of which the enormity has just struck home...
Maybe, for the first time in my life, I'm moving forward blindly, without a clear direction, going with the flow and wondering where all this may lead to..cautiously optimistic, but very, very worried about where it is taking me...Can i manage, can i handle it, can I be the person that I need to be?
Wilson's growing up really fast, real soon.... you never know...it could just well be, the ride of a lifetime... :-P...
Monday, April 07, 2008
Rollercoaster....The Beginning
I'm Rollercoasting.....arms spread wide..plunging down.... going faster and faster...and I'm taking you with me, Ms. Cherry Blossom...
It's going to be a wild ride, prepare yourself darling....
It's going to be a wild ride, prepare yourself darling....
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Bangkok Bluesome
I'm back in Bangkok...
that's right..the land where massage parlours never sleep, and japanese tourists line the streets looking for their next bar...
Do I like bangkok? perhaps my friend was right.. it IS pretty boring...
well.. might as well stay at the hotel and while away the night with Arnie's Terminator 1
"I'll bee Baaaak".....
Teez, in reading... i'm unable to connect to a decent phone line... please send me dad's phone number and/or e-mail through..... I have e-mail... my yahoo...
stories to continue... including my first ever experience in shopping for a women's handbag for E........ a nerve wracking experience if there was one... really hope she likes it...
that's right..the land where massage parlours never sleep, and japanese tourists line the streets looking for their next bar...
Do I like bangkok? perhaps my friend was right.. it IS pretty boring...
well.. might as well stay at the hotel and while away the night with Arnie's Terminator 1
"I'll bee Baaaak".....
Teez, in reading... i'm unable to connect to a decent phone line... please send me dad's phone number and/or e-mail through..... I have e-mail... my yahoo...
stories to continue... including my first ever experience in shopping for a women's handbag for E........ a nerve wracking experience if there was one... really hope she likes it...
Monday, February 04, 2008
The Garden
It was a garden. With green grass, fresh from with the dew of yesterday’s rain. The sky, semi cloudy , with rays of sunshine, bursting through, and the smell of grass, perfuming the terrace with its sweet freshness,
There, in the garden….. was you and I…..
Piano tinkling in the background….what music was playing, I cared not…
There you were, in the hammock, long black hair cascading around your face, framing……your dark eyebrows, perfectly adjoining just below the bridge of your nose… Your smile, ever present...your laughter, intoxicating…
There I was, comfortable as never before….
There we were, in the garden, talking, laughing, gesticulating, probing, understanding..
In the garden, You and I, time stood still
There, in the garden…. I never wanted the moment to end…
There, in the garden….. was you and I…..
Piano tinkling in the background….what music was playing, I cared not…
There you were, in the hammock, long black hair cascading around your face, framing……your dark eyebrows, perfectly adjoining just below the bridge of your nose… Your smile, ever present...your laughter, intoxicating…
There I was, comfortable as never before….
There we were, in the garden, talking, laughing, gesticulating, probing, understanding..
In the garden, You and I, time stood still
There, in the garden…. I never wanted the moment to end…
Monday, January 28, 2008
Adrenaline
Blood pumping,
Heart beating, faster and faster...
Testosterone flowing through your veins...
A lump in the throat that just won't go away, incessant cramping deep in the belly, the constant retching but nothing coming out, also part and parcel of the package.
it's true what they say, people perform best under pressure.
Now let's just see how I do it, wilson style.
I've done it before, I can do it again, I was born for this.
Don't hesitate any longer, Wilson!! Go for it... this is crunch time.
(Gotta do Right, Sometimes - Brand New Heavies)
Heart beating, faster and faster...
Testosterone flowing through your veins...
A lump in the throat that just won't go away, incessant cramping deep in the belly, the constant retching but nothing coming out, also part and parcel of the package.
it's true what they say, people perform best under pressure.
Now let's just see how I do it, wilson style.
I've done it before, I can do it again, I was born for this.
Don't hesitate any longer, Wilson!! Go for it... this is crunch time.
(Gotta do Right, Sometimes - Brand New Heavies)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Changes
Is change good?
Sometimes you question your own mortality and the way mortality has an impact on you…
Growing older sometimes has no impact, in everything other than the way you think about life.
Getting older feels like somebody has patted your back and said..” isn’t it time for you to think of something else?”
And the answer would be…well… I suppose so….the question of your existence and meaning in the world, has less importance than the main question in how are you going to spend your life… what will you be doing? How are you going to survive in this world? the young person’s (read: the guy I was a year ago) idealistic point of view, is getting less relevant, and the question of survival (i.e: more practical issues) has taken over the wild and whimsical meanderings I may have had many moons ago…
Am I jaded? …maybe… Am I pessimistic? No, maybe just a tad realistic… I suppose… I’m worried I’ll be out of it… too out of it to care… to out of touch to worry about little details…
So, I’m making concrete movements to get my life to move along. First and foremost…getting all my itches scratched..
Finishing my never ending, 10 years in the making, loudspeaker… that, is finally done… Pictures to be posted.
Getting my very own , real, hard-ass core mountain bike… that, is also finally done… pictures to be posted soon.
So… what else is left?
I suppose…that would be all the questions that I have always posed in these pages recently.. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.
Yah… you’re right…this year… is the make or break… nothing left to chance anymore.
Sometimes you question your own mortality and the way mortality has an impact on you…
Growing older sometimes has no impact, in everything other than the way you think about life.
Getting older feels like somebody has patted your back and said..” isn’t it time for you to think of something else?”
And the answer would be…well… I suppose so….the question of your existence and meaning in the world, has less importance than the main question in how are you going to spend your life… what will you be doing? How are you going to survive in this world? the young person’s (read: the guy I was a year ago) idealistic point of view, is getting less relevant, and the question of survival (i.e: more practical issues) has taken over the wild and whimsical meanderings I may have had many moons ago…
Am I jaded? …maybe… Am I pessimistic? No, maybe just a tad realistic… I suppose… I’m worried I’ll be out of it… too out of it to care… to out of touch to worry about little details…
So, I’m making concrete movements to get my life to move along. First and foremost…getting all my itches scratched..
Finishing my never ending, 10 years in the making, loudspeaker… that, is finally done… Pictures to be posted.
Getting my very own , real, hard-ass core mountain bike… that, is also finally done… pictures to be posted soon.
So… what else is left?
I suppose…that would be all the questions that I have always posed in these pages recently.. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.
Yah… you’re right…this year… is the make or break… nothing left to chance anymore.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Aftermath....
The Storm has passed...an eerie calm has descended upon the land. Silent, and yet, deafeningly loud .....
All that is left, is the debris, pieces of dreams left shattered, battered by the wind and bashed against the rocks.
time to pick up the pieces and start over again.
All that is left, is the debris, pieces of dreams left shattered, battered by the wind and bashed against the rocks.
time to pick up the pieces and start over again.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
New Year, 2008
Ah, how fast the year moves!!!
It feels just like last week that I wrote the post for new year 2007, and behold, 2008 is here...
how do you rate your 2007? in my previous posting, I predicted that 2007 looked interesting from a 2006 point of view....and after living it... whoa...it has surpassed even my expectations.
it's by far...my most interesting year to date... it's definitely not my best year (too many abysmal disappointments abound to even qualify as a good year), but it is the year that I would remember the most. I've been busy making things happen this year..
It feels just like last week that I wrote the post for new year 2007, and behold, 2008 is here...
how do you rate your 2007? in my previous posting, I predicted that 2007 looked interesting from a 2006 point of view....and after living it... whoa...it has surpassed even my expectations.
it's by far...my most interesting year to date... it's definitely not my best year (too many abysmal disappointments abound to even qualify as a good year), but it is the year that I would remember the most. I've been busy making things happen this year..
- there was a promotion, unexpected, and slightly unnerving
- there was a step into the unknown, making social connections and engaging in
a (surprisingly) evolving cooking class sessions, which has resulted in interactions with people I wouldn't have met in previous life. - there was a "balls-of-fun" trip to Ujung Kulon, which had a repercussion that I couldn't have imagined
- there were multiple challenges, which I wasn't managing as well as I could have, but it was exciting nonetheless
- more importantly... there was more attempts at roller-coastering than I have ever tried in one year..... or any year, for that matter
whaaaaa....!!!!! crazy...
you could say...2007 is my milestone year... now, there's no turning back. I've gone too far to stop now... Wilson is now well and truly a different animal.....
how does 2008 look then? hmmm...my crystal ball's not out yet...that may need a quiet blogging session with andrea bocelli overlooking the clarke quay river, which I promise to do... very soon.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Turning 30
"I remember as I turned 30 I said, "I have no more excuses for myself. I've got to figure these things out.- Brad Pitt"
Yup…an additional notch on my virtual belt… I usually do not do birthday posts, simply because
1. after your 21st birthday, all the yearly counting seems so terribly calculating. You’re getting older, it’s the only thing you really need to know.
2. Most of my birthdays isn’t worth mentioning about, the activities are mostly non-existent, and I usually spend it alone, with a bottle of my favourite tipple…
So, why is this birthday worth a mention in this precious blog?
Well… it is the big Three-Oh, ain’t it? the next phase of your life, where… things start to happen..where you will be judged purely on your “manly” abilities, where you decide the direction of your life. And make decisions that will have serious consequences on your life. Wilson can no longer fool around and think of life like it has no consequences.
The only problem is… the longer I think, the less progress I seem to make.. nothing is getting clearer, everything seems blurrier… the more I know, the less I understand, the more I have to learn.. does anyone have a clear idea where they need to be by the time they’re 30? Or am I the only one groping in the dark?
Well, no more.. I’m getting out of this rut…like Brad there, I’ll be be making no excuses for myself this year… it may involve moving out, pursuing other ventures, it will be about getting over my fear of commitment. It will be about getting over my hesitance on meeting/organising people. Wilson is coming out.
Yup…an additional notch on my virtual belt… I usually do not do birthday posts, simply because
1. after your 21st birthday, all the yearly counting seems so terribly calculating. You’re getting older, it’s the only thing you really need to know.
2. Most of my birthdays isn’t worth mentioning about, the activities are mostly non-existent, and I usually spend it alone, with a bottle of my favourite tipple…
So, why is this birthday worth a mention in this precious blog?
Well… it is the big Three-Oh, ain’t it? the next phase of your life, where… things start to happen..where you will be judged purely on your “manly” abilities, where you decide the direction of your life. And make decisions that will have serious consequences on your life. Wilson can no longer fool around and think of life like it has no consequences.
The only problem is… the longer I think, the less progress I seem to make.. nothing is getting clearer, everything seems blurrier… the more I know, the less I understand, the more I have to learn.. does anyone have a clear idea where they need to be by the time they’re 30? Or am I the only one groping in the dark?
Well, no more.. I’m getting out of this rut…like Brad there, I’ll be be making no excuses for myself this year… it may involve moving out, pursuing other ventures, it will be about getting over my fear of commitment. It will be about getting over my hesitance on meeting/organising people. Wilson is coming out.
and by the way, Ms. S, it will also be about your birthday card. The cutest birthday card I've ever had!!... Thank You!!!...
Love Makes you Fat
Firstly, a disclaimer, No… I’m not in Love… at least, I’d like to think that I’m reasonably well adjusted enough to recognise that Love, if anything, is akin to consuming large amounts of chocolate… (which actually, does make you fat too…hmmm…that’s a whole new topic, isn’t it?). and I do believe, that, love, if anything, needs time to marinate, and at any stage before a time of maturation ( an extended period, at least), is only a high level of infatuation.
I am though, bewitched by certain, let’s say..creature…..of infinite interest and a certain feminine guile, which does render me unacceptably unfocused and babble like no guy my age ever should, battling late night sleepiness to talk for hours on the phone, and had me mentally & physically writing down notes of conversations points if I ever, God Forbid, run out of subject to talk about.
But, that’s not the issue. The issue here, is that, when you start trying to fit in your schedules to fit your (possibly) significant other, you inevitably find yourself meeting at the most inconvenient of times for somebody who is trying to go on a diet.
The choice of dinner places (i.e. cosy comfortable spots), tend to focus more on the mood food (creamy, sweet, rich, fragrant, indulgent) food which would be unsuitable for someone, say, 13 kilos above the ideal weight. I try, of course, to find healthier alternatives, but at the end of the day, atmosphere and setting wins over food choices. Thus, true the adage, being in love makes you fat.
Is it worth the additional weight, the uncomfortably tight trouser, the uncomfortable feeling of guiltily adding kilos that would take months, maybe even years, to shed?
I can’t say… in this one, the process does not guarantee the result.
I am though, bewitched by certain, let’s say..creature…..of infinite interest and a certain feminine guile, which does render me unacceptably unfocused and babble like no guy my age ever should, battling late night sleepiness to talk for hours on the phone, and had me mentally & physically writing down notes of conversations points if I ever, God Forbid, run out of subject to talk about.
But, that’s not the issue. The issue here, is that, when you start trying to fit in your schedules to fit your (possibly) significant other, you inevitably find yourself meeting at the most inconvenient of times for somebody who is trying to go on a diet.
The choice of dinner places (i.e. cosy comfortable spots), tend to focus more on the mood food (creamy, sweet, rich, fragrant, indulgent) food which would be unsuitable for someone, say, 13 kilos above the ideal weight. I try, of course, to find healthier alternatives, but at the end of the day, atmosphere and setting wins over food choices. Thus, true the adage, being in love makes you fat.
Is it worth the additional weight, the uncomfortably tight trouser, the uncomfortable feeling of guiltily adding kilos that would take months, maybe even years, to shed?
I can’t say… in this one, the process does not guarantee the result.
Regardless, I enjoy every minute of it, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.
Now perhaps, that, is the most important thing
Friday, October 12, 2007
Boys will be boys
" I have the Audi A4 Hot Rod Edition!!! " a colleague exclaimed excitedly. "oh , that's nothing, I got the LE (Limited Edition) Navy blue Ferrari Enzo just yesterday", my manager scoffed...
"well yes, but do you have the Toyota LandCruiser Arctic Expedition version in white ??" another colleague, claimed, fresh from his business trip to Japan .
no, we don't work the stock market, and no, neither does any of our colleagues... neither do we own any of the cash needed to keep those esoteric cars on the road, let alone buy them... so, what we are talking , about, is Hot Wheels.
Hot Wheels? yup, those toys cars of (supposedly) in accurate (extremely) scaled down version, stuff you give out to your baby cousin (preferably under 5 years old) who will insufferably scream with glee and proceed to open and wreck the toy cars within a matter of minutes.
These guys are way more serious... first of all, they don't ever open the plastic boxes..
Secondly...they take extreme measures to go hunt for these "special edition" Hotwheels, toy shops, supermarkets, etc, wherever...
Thirdly, they even have a special display case for them to show-off their pride and joy, at the behest of their wives, who really thinks that 30-something with kid(s) in tow don't really need to collect things they should have collected over 25 years ago when it is more appropriate for them to do so....
"well yes, but do you have the Toyota LandCruiser Arctic Expedition version in white ??" another colleague, claimed, fresh from his business trip to Japan .
no, we don't work the stock market, and no, neither does any of our colleagues... neither do we own any of the cash needed to keep those esoteric cars on the road, let alone buy them... so, what we are talking , about, is Hot Wheels.
Hot Wheels? yup, those toys cars of (supposedly) in accurate (extremely) scaled down version, stuff you give out to your baby cousin (preferably under 5 years old) who will insufferably scream with glee and proceed to open and wreck the toy cars within a matter of minutes.
These guys are way more serious... first of all, they don't ever open the plastic boxes..
Secondly...they take extreme measures to go hunt for these "special edition" Hotwheels, toy shops, supermarkets, etc, wherever...
Thirdly, they even have a special display case for them to show-off their pride and joy, at the behest of their wives, who really thinks that 30-something with kid(s) in tow don't really need to collect things they should have collected over 25 years ago when it is more appropriate for them to do so....
I'm a little envious..I can't actually see the point of collecting these things....but it must be fun to have such an easy, painless, hobby..:-) as for me, I'll stick to my chef's knife, and dream about making the perfect chicken fried steak... :-)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Unique
I hate to admit it…
Don’t you spend days doing things that supposed separate you from the “normal” people in your life..
Only to find that you are.. embarassingly.. not only normal.. but very normal… even more than just normal..conservative, even…
Like spending millions of rupiah on something other than “Nokia”……just for the sake of being different, and ending up.. with a blarsted Nokia phone 2 months later…..like eating a certain “exotic” food such as… “foie gras”, or “fettucine con funghi”, only to find that…well… you prefer the plain-jane grilled chicken and spaghetti bolognese…
…Being Normal means you don’t run the risk of having a different problem from everybody else, which means, having to solve a problem nobody else knows the solution to…
And doing something that will be……”safe”….
Well…yeah..I’m normal.. I wear the same clothes as everybody else, use the same phone… eat the same food.. talk the same way..laugh at the same jokes..buy the same things…
But I wish I could be just slightly… slightly different… wish someone would say to another… ‘ hey, that’s wilson.. you know him?’… and she would say
‘ oh ya, he’s that quirky guy, right? … “ he’s…. unique” ….
Now that would be nice…
P.S. : as of last night..I got my wish...the exact words are.."you know wilson, you're unique.." music to my ears..
Don’t you spend days doing things that supposed separate you from the “normal” people in your life..
Only to find that you are.. embarassingly.. not only normal.. but very normal… even more than just normal..conservative, even…
Like spending millions of rupiah on something other than “Nokia”……just for the sake of being different, and ending up.. with a blarsted Nokia phone 2 months later…..like eating a certain “exotic” food such as… “foie gras”, or “fettucine con funghi”, only to find that…well… you prefer the plain-jane grilled chicken and spaghetti bolognese…
…Being Normal means you don’t run the risk of having a different problem from everybody else, which means, having to solve a problem nobody else knows the solution to…
And doing something that will be……”safe”….
Well…yeah..I’m normal.. I wear the same clothes as everybody else, use the same phone… eat the same food.. talk the same way..laugh at the same jokes..buy the same things…
But I wish I could be just slightly… slightly different… wish someone would say to another… ‘ hey, that’s wilson.. you know him?’… and she would say
‘ oh ya, he’s that quirky guy, right? … “ he’s…. unique” ….
Now that would be nice…
P.S. : as of last night..I got my wish...the exact words are.."you know wilson, you're unique.." music to my ears..
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Are you Experienced?
I've been out of the loop for a while...
could say it's a lack of things to report..but ,not so... actually I've been trying to construct a roller coaster of my own...
so, was I successful? well..sadly no... but it was one hell of a journey... wild mood swings, supressed emotional outbursts, and constantly simmering undercurrent of tension... it's true what they say, it's a thin line between love & hate..
so why didn't it work out? well...that doesn't really matter, thats just for me and her to know..
but I've learned alot along the way...
Basic…everyday household things I should have learned a long time ago stuff… :-)
Let is flow… enjoy yourself, and don’t expect too much of yourself.. the result is not the end goal,
and never should be, the process should just be as enjoyable…
but progress, is a must.. one foot in front of the other, don’t stop…
and don’t hesitate, and when you decide to stop, be it on your own terms… a little cliched, but, it's new...for me anyway...
I’m getting serious, aren’t I… well..its an interesting subject… here’s to painful progress..
At least now…I can sing with Jimi Hendrix and scream “ yeah, baby, I’m experiencing !!”
could say it's a lack of things to report..but ,not so... actually I've been trying to construct a roller coaster of my own...
so, was I successful? well..sadly no... but it was one hell of a journey... wild mood swings, supressed emotional outbursts, and constantly simmering undercurrent of tension... it's true what they say, it's a thin line between love & hate..
so why didn't it work out? well...that doesn't really matter, thats just for me and her to know..
but I've learned alot along the way...
Basic…everyday household things I should have learned a long time ago stuff… :-)
Let is flow… enjoy yourself, and don’t expect too much of yourself.. the result is not the end goal,
and never should be, the process should just be as enjoyable…
but progress, is a must.. one foot in front of the other, don’t stop…
and don’t hesitate, and when you decide to stop, be it on your own terms… a little cliched, but, it's new...for me anyway...
I’m getting serious, aren’t I… well..its an interesting subject… here’s to painful progress..
At least now…I can sing with Jimi Hendrix and scream “ yeah, baby, I’m experiencing !!”
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Saying Goodbye..
I just sold my first car..
Had a lot of great memories in that car… I never thought I’d be this sorry to see it go… the trips to Senayan with buddies on our weekly (ok, maybe monthly..) squash games, the heartbreaks, dates with a certain celebrity with huge eyes, killer legs..and an explosive personality to match…..and the last, a “friendly” conversation with a bushy moustached police, a pothole…and, of course, with the vivacious Ms. MES, it was memorable in more ways than one.
Really, really felt that a chunk of my life has gone… never to return.. funny how one can feel so bad about missing a car…I haven’t even named the car yet…
A picture of it on the blog, a momento, of the good times we had together, before it leaves for its new owner…
Had a lot of great memories in that car… I never thought I’d be this sorry to see it go… the trips to Senayan with buddies on our weekly (ok, maybe monthly..) squash games, the heartbreaks, dates with a certain celebrity with huge eyes, killer legs..and an explosive personality to match…..and the last, a “friendly” conversation with a bushy moustached police, a pothole…and, of course, with the vivacious Ms. MES, it was memorable in more ways than one.
Really, really felt that a chunk of my life has gone… never to return.. funny how one can feel so bad about missing a car…I haven’t even named the car yet…
A picture of it on the blog, a momento, of the good times we had together, before it leaves for its new owner…
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Romance, and all that entails...
On a ride home she said to me..” you know Wilson, you’re so not romantic! “
Jolted and ever-so-slightly stung, I challenged her “not romantic, me? In what way? Please define Romantic ? “
She mentioned, a little too quickly, perhaps… “ Romantic… is being there when they need you..action, rather than words..”
“you… don’t seem to need anybody..you don’t show enough care”
I didn’t challenge her any further, for fear of sounding “Non Romantic”.
Perhaps I should. This puzzles me. A guy is always around when they’re interested in a person. It’s not that hard to do..
Whether we care or not, is another thing. Some guys can fake it, some cannot… , how can you care so much if you’ve only just met that particular person?
I think women just want to be fooled a little more… an show of affection, an extravagant show of attention, all in the name of
“I care about you”..and have women swoon with “oh, he’s sooo romantic!... he’s the man for me…”
Do I care about what she thinks? Well, yes, maybe, a little… that should tell you about my frame of mind at this moment… as for the rest..I’ll keep it to myself at this time…
Jolted and ever-so-slightly stung, I challenged her “not romantic, me? In what way? Please define Romantic ? “
She mentioned, a little too quickly, perhaps… “ Romantic… is being there when they need you..action, rather than words..”
“you… don’t seem to need anybody..you don’t show enough care”
I didn’t challenge her any further, for fear of sounding “Non Romantic”.
Perhaps I should. This puzzles me. A guy is always around when they’re interested in a person. It’s not that hard to do..
Whether we care or not, is another thing. Some guys can fake it, some cannot… , how can you care so much if you’ve only just met that particular person?
I think women just want to be fooled a little more… an show of affection, an extravagant show of attention, all in the name of
“I care about you”..and have women swoon with “oh, he’s sooo romantic!... he’s the man for me…”
Do I care about what she thinks? Well, yes, maybe, a little… that should tell you about my frame of mind at this moment… as for the rest..I’ll keep it to myself at this time…
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Shampoo
Had the most interesting experience yesterday…
A friend, shall we say, a metrosexual fashionista male friend… forced me to a hair salon yesterday, all the while muttering “Wilson, your hair is so unfashionable…boring… you need a haircut”… and stuff like…” you need new clothes, polo shirt is SO out of date, I can’t go clubbing with you with THAT kind of shirt…”
I expected to have a nauseating, deadly boring experience (a.k.a. waiting for your mom in hair salon and listening to middle-aged customer’s mindless drivel with a perpetual half-smile pasted on your face)…
But surprisingly enough…what followed was one of the most relaxing hour I’ve had in recent memory. The place was quiet, the interior classy, the conversations, discreet.. and the hair wash… divine…… I’m really beginning to see why women enjoy going to the salon so much… I could really get used to this…
As for the haircut..let’s just say that I had one of those so-called new “edgy” style haircut, replete with the spiky antenna-like protuberations…. As to which my friend pronounced as “excellent, very fresh!” ….to be honest, I really can’t see what the fuss is all about…. It looks like a volleyball with an angry porcupine on top… ?
Anyway, regardless of hair style, if given the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat…
A friend, shall we say, a metrosexual fashionista male friend… forced me to a hair salon yesterday, all the while muttering “Wilson, your hair is so unfashionable…boring… you need a haircut”… and stuff like…” you need new clothes, polo shirt is SO out of date, I can’t go clubbing with you with THAT kind of shirt…”
I expected to have a nauseating, deadly boring experience (a.k.a. waiting for your mom in hair salon and listening to middle-aged customer’s mindless drivel with a perpetual half-smile pasted on your face)…
But surprisingly enough…what followed was one of the most relaxing hour I’ve had in recent memory. The place was quiet, the interior classy, the conversations, discreet.. and the hair wash… divine…… I’m really beginning to see why women enjoy going to the salon so much… I could really get used to this…
As for the haircut..let’s just say that I had one of those so-called new “edgy” style haircut, replete with the spiky antenna-like protuberations…. As to which my friend pronounced as “excellent, very fresh!” ….to be honest, I really can’t see what the fuss is all about…. It looks like a volleyball with an angry porcupine on top… ?
Anyway, regardless of hair style, if given the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat…
Bluecactus, still missing your hengky tandayu? :-)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
A lack of Inspiration
I somehow found that my well of blog ideas has dried up since returning back home to Indonesia…
what is it about this city that has sucked out my life juices? Could it be the endless working hours?
Could it be the apparent lack of culture in this city?... seemingly endless expanses of the concrete jungle with nary a
Tree in sight, or only a single lone, poor, extremely dusty, sad excuse of a tree beaten down with bustling cars, and endless rows of motorcycles..
Or could it be hopelessness…where no news is good news, the first thing that greets you when you start to the office is one of the many child-beggars, lining the street, looking so plaintively for a few nickel & dimes...where nothing seems to be getting better anytime soon.. the smell of despair in giant empty malls, filled with items most people are unable to buy, hence the expression “walking around”.. not shopping, just walking, looking, dreaming…
I’ll be enthusiastic again… I know I will… I’ll get it back..Now, if I can just stop comparing this place to Singapore….. ha ha…
what is it about this city that has sucked out my life juices? Could it be the endless working hours?
Could it be the apparent lack of culture in this city?... seemingly endless expanses of the concrete jungle with nary a
Tree in sight, or only a single lone, poor, extremely dusty, sad excuse of a tree beaten down with bustling cars, and endless rows of motorcycles..
Or could it be hopelessness…where no news is good news, the first thing that greets you when you start to the office is one of the many child-beggars, lining the street, looking so plaintively for a few nickel & dimes...where nothing seems to be getting better anytime soon.. the smell of despair in giant empty malls, filled with items most people are unable to buy, hence the expression “walking around”.. not shopping, just walking, looking, dreaming…
I’ll be enthusiastic again… I know I will… I’ll get it back..Now, if I can just stop comparing this place to Singapore….. ha ha…
She Didn’t Look..
Came home one evening..coming along a particularly busy intersection. I stopped, waiting for traffic to subside… as I was just about ready to turn, a woman, an old lady with a feather-duster, walked by, casually… right in front of my car...
She didn’t stop, didn’t even think about stopping…… despite the obvious danger it posed on her, as well as my own well being… that wasn’t my first thought.. if anything, it was her face…
Her face, registered nothing, not a single flicker of concern.. not a single look of awareness… it was, for lack of a better word..hard as stone.. it’s as if, she doesn’t care… of anything, anybody, of herself.. living, dying.. it’s all the same…
I felt guilty, somehow.. I don’t know what I was guilty for, but nevertheless, felt guilty…I don’t think anybody has that right to stop caring about themselves so much..... naïve, I know….still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty
She didn’t stop, didn’t even think about stopping…… despite the obvious danger it posed on her, as well as my own well being… that wasn’t my first thought.. if anything, it was her face…
Her face, registered nothing, not a single flicker of concern.. not a single look of awareness… it was, for lack of a better word..hard as stone.. it’s as if, she doesn’t care… of anything, anybody, of herself.. living, dying.. it’s all the same…
I felt guilty, somehow.. I don’t know what I was guilty for, but nevertheless, felt guilty…I don’t think anybody has that right to stop caring about themselves so much..... naïve, I know….still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty
Saturday, March 31, 2007
In Pursuit of Happiness..
No… it’s not a review of the movie ( which I haven’t watched, btw).. and which this blog will never be…
The sentence itself, somehow had me thinking about happiness. What really makes people happy?
Common definition, “ being happy is wanting what you have, and having what you want.. yes…partly true…but..
we're designed to never be contented, and to always want more.. and if that is the case, how can we ever be happy?
what we want always changes.. if you own a Lamborghini.. on some days you might really want that foxy black Ferrari sitting In your neighbour’s garage (assuming, of course, that you live in such exalted neighbourhood).. So that definition, I feel, isn’t quite correct
So Wilson, what do you feel is correct? Well, This is the result of some deep contemplation over a cup of cappucino and watching scantily
clad women eating french fries in McDonalds Clarke Quay after their clubbing session…. So, yes, this is serious.. (in case you’re asking, this is an old post I forgot all about until now)..
It involves money, but not lots of it..it involves a certain kind of comfort, but not too much of it. And it involves kind of challenge and target.
So this is my definition : Having what you need, without actually having what you REALLY want.
To my mind, to achieve a certain level of happiness, a person must also have a certain level of unhappiness. An unhappiness that they can fix and do something about. In essence, a target. To be truly happy, you must have everything that you need.. but you must also have something you want BUT is difficult for you to get.
Think about it… have you ever dreamed about getting something you really wanted, only to feel a sense of loss? It seems, somehow dreaming about it is better than actually having it…..
wanting what you have is not something that humans are designed to do. I think we’re happier to have a challenge rather than be challengeless and have things handed to you on a silver platter….
There is no conclusion to this post, it just shows how illogical we humans are.. I wonder if everything in earth works in the same way….
The sentence itself, somehow had me thinking about happiness. What really makes people happy?
Common definition, “ being happy is wanting what you have, and having what you want.. yes…partly true…but..
we're designed to never be contented, and to always want more.. and if that is the case, how can we ever be happy?
what we want always changes.. if you own a Lamborghini.. on some days you might really want that foxy black Ferrari sitting In your neighbour’s garage (assuming, of course, that you live in such exalted neighbourhood).. So that definition, I feel, isn’t quite correct
So Wilson, what do you feel is correct? Well, This is the result of some deep contemplation over a cup of cappucino and watching scantily
clad women eating french fries in McDonalds Clarke Quay after their clubbing session…. So, yes, this is serious.. (in case you’re asking, this is an old post I forgot all about until now)..
It involves money, but not lots of it..it involves a certain kind of comfort, but not too much of it. And it involves kind of challenge and target.
So this is my definition : Having what you need, without actually having what you REALLY want.
To my mind, to achieve a certain level of happiness, a person must also have a certain level of unhappiness. An unhappiness that they can fix and do something about. In essence, a target. To be truly happy, you must have everything that you need.. but you must also have something you want BUT is difficult for you to get.
Think about it… have you ever dreamed about getting something you really wanted, only to feel a sense of loss? It seems, somehow dreaming about it is better than actually having it…..
wanting what you have is not something that humans are designed to do. I think we’re happier to have a challenge rather than be challengeless and have things handed to you on a silver platter….
There is no conclusion to this post, it just shows how illogical we humans are.. I wonder if everything in earth works in the same way….
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