Kids, toddlers, and little furrry things...

a closet confession


as normal people go, they're scared of certain things. Dark rooms, monsters, cockroaches, frogs, lizards, bats etc. Perfectly, utterly understandable, they ARE horrible beastly creatures, your regular everyday "euww"...items....


Mine is a little unusual. I'm children phobic......I'm not one of those people who see children and get all googly eyed and misty, making unintelligible baby sounds to match. Nope... I'm the guy who stands wayyyy at the back, looking at this little so-called "bundle of joy" with an ingenously crafted unidentified expression, perfectly trained in many family outings....

thing is, I don't quite see the purpose of filling up the world with these little tykes... My Mom would say " it is the NORMAL thing to do, Wilson! to marry and procreate, and make noisy little people that cry, misbehave and breaks your favourite mug."....(the last part, naturally added)... seeing the crowded population of people in this world, it doesn't make all that much sense to make billions more to the ever more crowded world.

So, as you can imagine, a company family outing was not exactly my dream vacation.
Stuck in a bus packed with multiple screaming babies that rises and falls to the RPM of the bus
was stressful, to say the least. All the while the father was seemingly trying to console the unconsolable tyrants, standing in the bus for the better part of 4 hours, with various toys on hand, the mother on hand with ready multiple milk bottles, largely untouched. by the end of the trip, they looked tired and beat...

but here's the thing.... it was on the trip that I GET it.....Looking from any angle of any side of any equation, there is no logical sense of having kids. But it's not about logic. Its the joy of crafting something, from your own blood, that is entirely your own. with all your characters, your spouse's and something extra, and putting the responsibility solely on your hand to guide him to be whatever he/she wants to be... So, to these parents...it's like opening a ramen shop and cooking only ramen for 20 years in a row, without stopping. It's no problem. they love it....
and doing something that you love, is never a burden.

so, does that make Wilson a children lover? No..... no, very far to go from that... but understanding , is the first step to acceptance. ... i understand and accept the purpose of those tykes in this world.

So, for this time, let's just call Wilson, a slowly recovering children phobic....

Resolutions, 2009

In all fairness, it is now July 2009, and there isn't that much time until the end of 2009. Nonetheless, after my self induced stupor, there really is a need to wake up and start planning all the way through 2009, if I want to still make it past this year, alive

this is still a draft, which will be fixed by the end of 2009 :-)

1. update my blog at least once a month, and the current blog should be expanded to meet my new hobbies, namely, cooking and biking... :-)

2. discipline, cutting the fat from all my previous life.. and make a more consistent wilson...
on the area that needs discipline, namely, exercise and goal setting.....

....that's all i can think of right now.....

btw, if you ask me, why the sudden surge of blogposts, wilson? well, the main reason is this spiffy netbook, which allows me to blog at most convenient places for inspiration, coffee shops, spiffy lounges, and mainly, in the office.. :-)

so there it is, my resolutions for 2009, may I have the audacity to do this, one baby steps at the time.....

Everything in Moderation

I've been back on my couch potato mode for the past...eh....year. it's my new "old" thing to do... Oh, well, one can say that biking is NOT couch potato, but I digress.. it's a wee little exercise in the mountain sof hours spent zonked out on the couch, watching House reruns and chomping down on potato chips, or whatever happened to be around on that particular time.

The thing is, one gets tired of couch potatoing. There is always latent need to feel useful to something, or somebody that is built in to each person, and that particular need isn't covered by chugging down high fructose drinks in front of the sofa.

The last straw of that phase, was, with nothing great on the TV, I ended up watching the "i'm a celebrity, get me out here".... :-( watching all these cheesy people doing cheesy things (especially the reality TV star, doing a different reality TV show from his own reality TV) ended my love affair with the couch permanently.....

it's been a while since I blogged, so, some stuff may not make sense, but wilson is up and about,
and making his (admittedly) late 2009 resolutions, ha ha....

P.S. Thank you BC.... u're my blog rock...

Movie Time

I’ve never understood why you MUST go to the movies as a pair, or with friends. The act of watching a movie has always been your engagement to the big screen in front of you.For the duration of the movie you do nothing, you do not communicate with your pair, except share a bag of popcorns(or except the smooch session, but then, it’s a different thing entirely, u don’t actually watch the movie anyway). If the movie sucks, neither of you want to talk about it. Actually, even when the movie itself is good, you don’t talk about it either, the maximum would’ve been “hey, it’s a good movie”… he’s a good actor, etc…

Hence, movie watching is, in itself a solitary act. So, why do people consider it blasphemy to watch movies alone?

I don’t mind watching movies with friends..I do like it, its fun, and the best part is the going to get dinner after the movie part.
But from time to time I would like to watch movies alone sometimes…its meditative, somewhat..
so all I’m asking is not to look at us as “weird” or “strange”.

Don’t give us the “sigh, poor guy, no date” look....

We’re there simply for the love of the movies, it's not unusual, and its not strange...it's just different.

so, i'll watching..Fast and Furious, in all its loud obnoxious glory, the cheesy acting of that blonde guy (whats his name again? forgot), Jordana's high IQ'ed waxed, em......shoes.... with my unshared popcorn and supersized fizzy drinks....... don't you dare tell me to do otherwise...

How to pick a book

Imagine a bookshop. Imagine yourself there, imagine yourself looking for a novel, something nice and entertaining. But you don’t really know what to buy.
Or maybe u’re just looking for something a little….different…. How do you pick one?
Myself, I go for the attractive cover with a catchy title

Sacrilege! You say. Most would advise not to judge a book by its cover or its title. But, most of the time, one of the main reason that you pick a book is FOR it’s cover/catchy title…
If a book is dusty, gray, has an unattractive cover, with an equally drab title, no matter how fantastic the inside is, only brave souls will have the privilege to discover it…..
or only by these scenarios:

• There is no other book in the area
• You have read their previous books (which, in this case, does not count)
• Rave reviews on that book (by trusted source/s)
• a birthday gift (even then, u still may not read it)

In the end of the day, it is still what’s inside that matters.

But is it so wrong to ask for books to have an attractive cover???

BTW, if you haven’t figured it out by now.

I am NOT talking about books.

Quote of the Month

" It's simple.......

It's not easy,

but it is simple......"


House, M.D.

Japan out

I'm still in Nagoya,

I know most people will love it here......

me, on the other hand..hate it.... alot...in multitudes of way you just can't imagine...

I'm never coming back here......the vibe just don't cut it with me... the food's expensive, the travel's expensive. the life, monotonous..... for the first time, ever...I missed home country....yup...back to Indonesia...of all places.....or, even better, singapore...

maybe it's just the job...or maybe just my frame of mind at the moment...nothing seems to be working... nothing... job, life, etc...wish this would just......end....

blue eyes... when're you leaving for NL? it's an idea to meet...

wilson out....

Japanese Sun

It is now 3 AM in Nagoya, Japan,

and I can't sleep...for whatever reason.... so, yeah, finally I get to go to Japan. Wish my bosses were here though, at least the heat would be a little lower, along with the report, that is... :-(
Well anyway, can't complain.. I'm in Japan!!!....yey!!!!...

and we will be documenting ( if possible ) any culinary adventure that might happen along the way ( if i'm lucky enough to go out of this dorm, that is...)...

but I don't care...hey, its Japan, rite?? hope I can go through the meeting tomorrow without conking out...hehehe...

End Game

There room was dimly lit. darker, and bleaker than usual.
The piano was silent, black, foreboding
The garden, featureless, shapeless, covered in shadows of darkness
You were all in black, long black hair cascading, your face, set in stone, eyebrows firmly joined together in the centre.
Rivers of tears cascaded down your face. Through all your tears, I still can’t help but notice how magnificently beautiful you are
There, ended the dream. There, everything stopped moving.

My throat, dry as sandpaper, My tongue, bitter as the coffee in my hand.
My brain, unable to make sense of it all, My senses, numb. My heart, packed up, left and hasn’t returned since.

I don’t understand.
You owe me, some kind of love.

Reality Bites

Saying Yes is the easy part... Now comes the fight to stay relevant and alive...

What is it about, you will just have to guess... What I can tell you, is that it involves a certain kind of commitment, and a lifelong bond which cannot be broken, and it also involves a lot of compromises, sharing and communication, of which the enormity has just struck home...

Maybe, for the first time in my life, I'm moving forward blindly, without a clear direction, going with the flow and wondering where all this may lead to..cautiously optimistic, but very, very worried about where it is taking me...Can i manage, can i handle it, can I be the person that I need to be?

Wilson's growing up really fast, real soon.... you never know...it could just well be, the ride of a lifetime... :-P...

Rollercoaster....The Beginning

I'm Rollercoasting.....arms spread wide..plunging down.... going faster and faster...and I'm taking you with me, Ms. Cherry Blossom...

It's going to be a wild ride, prepare yourself darling....

Bangkok Bluesome

I'm back in Bangkok...

that's right..the land where massage parlours never sleep, and japanese tourists line the streets looking for their next bar...
Do I like bangkok? perhaps my friend was right.. it IS pretty boring...

well.. might as well stay at the hotel and while away the night with Arnie's Terminator 1

"I'll bee Baaaak".....

Teez, in reading... i'm unable to connect to a decent phone line... please send me dad's phone number and/or e-mail through..... I have e-mail... my yahoo...

stories to continue... including my first ever experience in shopping for a women's handbag for E........ a nerve wracking experience if there was one... really hope she likes it...

The Garden

It was a garden. With green grass, fresh from with the dew of yesterday’s rain. The sky, semi cloudy , with rays of sunshine, bursting through, and the smell of grass, perfuming the terrace with its sweet freshness,

There, in the garden….. was you and I…..

Piano tinkling in the background….what music was playing, I cared not…

There you were, in the hammock, long black hair cascading around your face, framing……your dark eyebrows, perfectly adjoining just below the bridge of your nose… Your smile, ever present...your laughter, intoxicating…
There I was, comfortable as never before….

There we were, in the garden, talking, laughing, gesticulating, probing, understanding..

In the garden, You and I, time stood still

There, in the garden…. I never wanted the moment to end…

Adrenaline

Blood pumping,

Heart beating, faster and faster...

Testosterone flowing through your veins...

A lump in the throat that just won't go away, incessant cramping deep in the belly, the constant retching but nothing coming out, also part and parcel of the package.

it's true what they say, people perform best under pressure.

Now let's just see how I do it, wilson style.

I've done it before, I can do it again, I was born for this.
Don't hesitate any longer, Wilson!! Go for it... this is crunch time.

(Gotta do Right, Sometimes - Brand New Heavies)

Changes

Is change good?

Sometimes you question your own mortality and the way mortality has an impact on you…
Growing older sometimes has no impact, in everything other than the way you think about life.

Getting older feels like somebody has patted your back and said..” isn’t it time for you to think of something else?”

And the answer would be…well… I suppose so….the question of your existence and meaning in the world, has less importance than the main question in how are you going to spend your life… what will you be doing? How are you going to survive in this world? the young person’s (read: the guy I was a year ago) idealistic point of view, is getting less relevant, and the question of survival (i.e: more practical issues) has taken over the wild and whimsical meanderings I may have had many moons ago…

Am I jaded? …maybe… Am I pessimistic? No, maybe just a tad realistic… I suppose… I’m worried I’ll be out of it… too out of it to care… to out of touch to worry about little details…

So, I’m making concrete movements to get my life to move along. First and foremost…getting all my itches scratched..

Finishing my never ending, 10 years in the making, loudspeaker… that, is finally done… Pictures to be posted.

Getting my very own , real, hard-ass core mountain bike… that, is also finally done… pictures to be posted soon.

So… what else is left?

I suppose…that would be all the questions that I have always posed in these pages recently.. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.

Yah… you’re right…this year… is the make or break… nothing left to chance anymore.

Aftermath....

The Storm has passed...an eerie calm has descended upon the land. Silent, and yet, deafeningly loud .....

All that is left, is the debris, pieces of dreams left shattered, battered by the wind and bashed against the rocks.

time to pick up the pieces and start over again.

New Year, 2008

Ah, how fast the year moves!!!

It feels just like last week that I wrote the post for new year 2007, and behold, 2008 is here...

how do you rate your 2007? in my previous posting, I predicted that 2007 looked interesting from a 2006 point of view....and after living it... whoa...it has surpassed even my expectations.

it's by far...my most interesting year to date... it's definitely not my best year (too many abysmal disappointments abound to even qualify as a good year), but it is the year that I would remember the most. I've been busy making things happen this year..

• there was a promotion, unexpected, and slightly unnerving


• there was a step into the unknown, making social connections and engaging in
  a (surprisingly) evolving cooking class sessions, which has resulted in interactions with people I wouldn't have met in previous life.
• there was a "balls-of-fun" trip to Ujung Kulon, which had a repercussion that I couldn't have imagined
• there were multiple challenges, which I wasn't managing as well as I could have, but it was exciting nonetheless
• more importantly... there was more attempts at roller-coastering than I have ever tried in one year..... or any year, for that matter

whaaaaa....!!!!! crazy...

you could say...2007 is my milestone year... now, there's no turning back. I've gone too far to stop now... Wilson is now well and truly a different animal.....

how does 2008 look then? hmmm...my crystal ball's not out yet...that may need a quiet blogging session with andrea bocelli overlooking the clarke quay river, which I promise to do... very soon.

Turning 30

"I remember as I turned 30 I said, "I have no more excuses for myself. I've got to figure these things out.- Brad Pitt"

Yup…an additional notch on my virtual belt… I usually do not do birthday posts, simply because

1. after your 21st birthday, all the yearly counting seems so terribly calculating. You’re getting older, it’s the only thing you really need to know.
2. Most of my birthdays isn’t worth mentioning about, the activities are mostly non-existent, and I usually spend it alone, with a bottle of my favourite tipple…

So, why is this birthday worth a mention in this precious blog?

Well… it is the big Three-Oh, ain’t it? the next phase of your life, where… things start to happen..where you will be judged purely on your “manly” abilities, where you decide the direction of your life. And make decisions that will have serious consequences on your life. Wilson can no longer fool around and think of life like it has no consequences.

The only problem is… the longer I think, the less progress I seem to make.. nothing is getting clearer, everything seems blurrier… the more I know, the less I understand, the more I have to learn.. does anyone have a clear idea where they need to be by the time they’re 30? Or am I the only one groping in the dark?

Well, no more.. I’m getting out of this rut…like Brad there, I’ll be be making no excuses for myself this year… it may involve moving out, pursuing other ventures, it will be about getting over my fear of commitment. It will be about getting over my hesitance on meeting/organising people. Wilson is coming out.

and by the way, Ms. S, it will also be about your birthday card. The cutest birthday card I've ever had!!... Thank You!!!...

Love Makes you Fat

Firstly, a disclaimer, No… I’m not in Love… at least, I’d like to think that I’m reasonably well adjusted enough to recognise that Love, if anything, is akin to consuming large amounts of chocolate… (which actually, does make you fat too…hmmm…that’s a whole new topic, isn’t it?). and I do believe, that, love, if anything, needs time to marinate, and at any stage before a time of maturation ( an extended period, at least), is only a high level of infatuation.

I am though, bewitched by certain, let’s say..creature…..of infinite interest and a certain feminine guile, which does render me unacceptably unfocused and babble like no guy my age ever should, battling late night sleepiness to talk for hours on the phone, and had me mentally & physically writing down notes of conversations points if I ever, God Forbid, run out of subject to talk about.

But, that’s not the issue. The issue here, is that, when you start trying to fit in your schedules to fit your (possibly) significant other, you inevitably find yourself meeting at the most inconvenient of times for somebody who is trying to go on a diet.

The choice of dinner places (i.e. cosy comfortable spots), tend to focus more on the mood food (creamy, sweet, rich, fragrant, indulgent) food which would be unsuitable for someone, say, 13 kilos above the ideal weight. I try, of course, to find healthier alternatives, but at the end of the day, atmosphere and setting wins over food choices. Thus, true the adage, being in love makes you fat.

Is it worth the additional weight, the uncomfortably tight trouser, the uncomfortable feeling of guiltily adding kilos that would take months, maybe even years, to shed?

I can’t say… in this one, the process does not guarantee the result.

Regardless, I enjoy every minute of it, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

Now perhaps, that, is the most important thing

Boys will be boys

" I have the Audi A4 Hot Rod Edition!!! " a colleague exclaimed excitedly. "oh , that's nothing, I got the LE (Limited Edition) Navy blue Ferrari Enzo just yesterday", my manager scoffed...

"well yes, but do you have the Toyota LandCruiser Arctic Expedition version in white ??" another colleague, claimed, fresh from his business trip to Japan .



no, we don't work the stock market, and no, neither does any of our colleagues... neither do we own any of the cash needed to keep those esoteric cars on the road, let alone buy them... so, what we are talking , about, is Hot Wheels.



Hot Wheels? yup, those toys cars of (supposedly) in accurate (extremely) scaled down version, stuff you give out to your baby cousin (preferably under 5 years old) who will insufferably scream with glee and proceed to open and wreck the toy cars within a matter of minutes.



These guys are way more serious... first of all, they don't ever open the plastic boxes..
Secondly...they take extreme measures to go hunt for these "special edition" Hotwheels, toy shops, supermarkets, etc, wherever...
Thirdly, they even have a special display case for them to show-off their pride and joy, at the behest of their wives, who really thinks that 30-something with kid(s) in tow don't really need to collect things they should have collected over 25 years ago when it is more appropriate for them to do so....

I'm a little envious..I can't actually see the point of collecting these things....but it must be fun to have such an easy, painless, hobby..:-) as for me, I'll stick to my chef's knife, and dream about making the perfect chicken fried steak... :-)