Along with the additional extra free time come more contemplation time, and not unlike’s BC’s endless contemplation with name changing, comes my ever lasting consideration of my faith. According to the parents ( Mom, especially), the holy grail of a person’s existence can be found in one’s faith, basically his strong connection to the great unknown. It is the set of beliefs that will carry a person through to the deep end of the ocean, or wherever a person finds himself in.
And as usual, deep in the fasting month there are certain questions that is replayed….. Just how much is faith playing a part in your life, and how much do you want faith to play a part in your life?
This question surfaced every year, to be discarded by the end of the fasting period
In all fairness, I consider myself to be a static ball when it comes to faith, a.k.a. : I do the routine, what needs to be done, but never that much more. There’s some occasional foray into “deep faith” (which usually happens before big events & important meetings) but as the events ends, so does the frantic prayer activity. Thing is, I had always hoped by doing the routine, the magic lightbulb would eventually turn itself on and I would just “feel” the effects…..or “something” that compels me to do more. Well, it hasn’t yet.
So, at some point I just begin to wonder, is it all worth it? As Gandhi said, almost everything you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. Maybe this is one of them. Maybe by doing more of it this fasting month, I’ll get my answers. Or maybe I won’t… or maybe I’m just not supposed to understand it now, and maybe It’ll all fall into place at the deep end of the ocean. But it’s impossible to get to where you’re going without knowing where you’re going.
So, I suppose I should do something different….. this fasting month, aside from the chance to at be 16 pounds overweight (as opposed to 20 pounds overweight L) I’m resolving going deeper, as opposed to doing more. I don’t know how I would go about it yet.. it has yet to be thought out…as usual…but it’s a start.
Maybe it’ll help this ball bounce where it needs to be going, instead of bouncing all over the place. And at least at the end of the month, I can always update you whether I’ve made any progress, if not in the faith, at least the weight.. J Happy Fasting Everyone….
