Lifeline...

I've sat about on this desk blankly at this blog... about how it is on earth that we're supposed to write about.

some people can't make things up, and wander away into the abyss that is fantasy, and create lives that are different, more grotesque / more enjoyable than their real self.

others will just draw upon their past lives and experiences, usually those people will have a terrifyingly grandiose experiences that you never want to experience.

I suppose what i want to say is, that as you are also getting older, there is also your lives, unexpectedly, become quite domesticated. wake up, take shower, kiss the baby, kiss the misses, go to work, until 9, go home, sleep, and doing it all over again. until the weekend arrives and we realised, that we have done over a week of the same items that we've been dreading all the time. and also, you realised that you've been trying too hard to justify the life that you're living now, is the best that you can ever be...

and that takes its toll out of you... and it seeps into your content little lives... wishing that it wasn't, but it did, and nothing you say can take it all away from it. and i have to get it back.

And getting it back means that not taking the flak...  and standing up for what you believe... and not having to put up with 70-80 hour work week... for the past 12 years... maybe then it will happen..So forget about my last post about surviving, its a wash.  It is all about being content and finding a combination of something that you really want to do.  and maybe, somewhere out there, there is something that is worth spending a 70 hour work week for.