Meditation

I've probably ticked off one of the task I set out to do for myself, around 3- 4 years ago. I didn't actually figure it taking so long, but, i suppose there's no getting around that.

What would that be, Wilson? well, the question of who or what being in a relationship is, has probably been answered, to my relief. annd.. i have to admit really liking it, which is why I've been neglecting this blog. For the first time ever, I have better things to do, and an absolutely crystal clear excuse to not blog :-)

it's good, in a way that, when wilson is alone blinking at the coffeeshop, it's because this ball needs the time to meditate his thoughts, not because he's a poor sod who has absolutely nobody to meet and be with. it's a tiny difference, but it's one that, mentally, does wonders. and actually focuses me to meditate further on what one should be doing next.

i'm just going to write things down here, and see where it ends up for me. and one of the i should follow up in the near future.
1. Wilson should just go for his Masters Degree, and follow up getting jobs
at an NGO being a Logistics specialist, coordinating logistics supplies around the world to places that needs it.
2. Wilson the niche restaurateur, selling his famous banana crumbles on the beach.
3. Wilson, still goes for his Masters, and end up working where it takes him, in Singapore, maybe... (still love that city, for whatever reason).....
4. Wilson, in the business of helping people whatever their goals may be. (yeah, I know... totally random)

Wilson thoughts are now scrambled and unfocused, but determined, as this blog is.. it is not good reading, but it is something that i need to put up, to remind this ball, that doing something may take years, and may seem unachieveable, but with a positive outlook, and a little luck, things might just happen.

A Thought to end all Thoughts.

As he sat in the office, alone, on a Monday night, a thousand things could have had him seriously, seriously depressed

Of the bosses that had the nerve to give an “urgent” last task, and left home shortly afterward.

Of the endless meeting throughout the day, without as much as a drop of water ( they were apparently out of clean glass, a really, REALLY bad excuse)

Of the extreme heat this afternoon, which promises rain later tonite, which spells bad things for people who chose to commute by bicycle today (himself, included)

Of jobs that had no rhyme nor reasons, but still had deadlines.

But tonight,  he was neither serious, nor depressed

He was Relaxed, Optimistic, and Content.

What did He do?

He Thought About Miles Davis’s Seven Steps to Heaven,

He Thought About ElizabethTown, and bright, bright sunset, streaming through the window

He Thought About White, and Green, with splashes of Yellow

He Thought about the next weekend, Saturday, Sunday and what it may bring

He Thought About You.

 

A Question of Faith

Along with the additional extra free time come more contemplation time, and not unlike’s BC’s endless contemplation with name changing, comes my ever lasting consideration of my faith.   According to the parents ( Mom, especially), the holy grail of a person’s existence can be found in one’s faith, basically his strong connection to the great unknown. It is the set of beliefs that will carry a person through to the deep end of the ocean, or wherever a person finds himself in.

And as usual, deep in the fasting month there are certain questions that is replayed….. Just how much is faith playing a part in your life, and how much do you want faith to play a part in your life?

This question surfaced every year,  to be discarded by the end of the fasting period

In all fairness, I consider myself to be a static ball when it comes to faith, a.k.a. : I do the routine, what needs to be done, but never that much more. There’s some occasional foray into “deep faith” (which usually happens before big events & important meetings)  but as the events ends, so does the frantic prayer activity.  Thing is, I had always hoped by doing the routine,  the magic lightbulb would eventually turn itself on and I would just “feel” the effects…..or “something” that compels me to do more.  Well, it hasn’t yet.

So, at some point I just begin to wonder, is it all worth it?  As Gandhi said, almost everything you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.  Maybe this is one of them. Maybe by doing more of it this fasting month, I’ll get my answers. Or maybe I won’t… or maybe I’m just not supposed to understand it now,  and maybe It’ll all fall into place at the deep end of the ocean. But it’s impossible to get to where you’re going without knowing where you’re going.

So, I suppose I should do something different….. this fasting month, aside from the chance to at be 16 pounds overweight (as opposed to 20 pounds overweight L) I’m resolving going deeper, as opposed to doing more.  I don’t know how I would go about it yet.. it has yet to be thought out…as usual…but it’s a start.

Maybe it’ll help this ball bounce where it needs to be going, instead of bouncing all over the place. And at least at the end of the month, I can always update you whether I’ve made any progress, if not in the faith, at least the weight.. J  Happy Fasting Everyone….

 

 

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

June, is a wedding month… every week, be it Saturday/Sunday, you’re bound to receive one/two invitations at weekends.

 

I have nothing against weddings… I think it’s great that two people who like each other enough is willing to go through the motions of announcing their short-lived lust of each other and invite everybody to join in their joy.

It’s just that, it really is an aggravation.

We have a thing down here about weddings.. Attending weddings is an obligation. Unless you are sick/poorly, have another important matter, urgent family demands,  custom dictates that it would be impolite not to attend the wedding, when you have clearly been invited.

The custom goes both ways,  because the wedding invitee also needs to issue out as many wedding invitations as posible, to the remotest of relatives as far away as the Darkest Peru.... as we now know, it is impolite to not invite people. Even ones they don’t really know.

Thereafter, in conclusion, you’re getting a lot of wedding invitations to people you barely know.  And most invitee will have somewhat big weddings, oh, around 2000 people or so…

And as is custom, weddings requires people to dress well..very well.. in fact, the easiest is a coat and tie… and as June is the Indian Summer months, so take note that while we may look formal and quite studly, inside we are silently sweating buckets and cursing whoever it is that invented coats.  

And so, the story goes, one dresses up nicely…diets for it, goes to the hairdresser for it. Spend hours pruning and preening for it…

So one can,  circle for hours looking for parking spaces,  wait in long queues to congratulate the benefactor, get limp, tired handshakes from the bride/groom,  get some buffet and sod off home, sweating.

I repeat. I have nothing against weddings. Just the grand pointlessness of it all.  But then again, what do I know. After all,  It is Custom.

 

I Suppose I Could Tell You.............

How it feels, to whistle down between the tree-lined tea plantations, wind brushing your face.

The speed as you wiggle around the singletrack, so periously close to the edge of the plantation valleys...

How your lungs bursts as you slowly grind up that never ending climb.

How slippery the ground is the morning after the rain, and how your heart pounds as you wrestle the bike down the steep slope, slipping and sliding...

But i'd rather let you picture, the end of the ride. dirty, tired, smiling, and all around you is a stunning vista of trees and that sweet mountain air.

Phew.

I love my new Hobby.

A Moment of Weakness

Inexplicably,

From time to time I’m struck with acute moments of aloneness..

It doesn’t last long…, a minute, at most…even a second…

But it sinks deep…and haunts you throughout the day…..

Funny this, coming from a closet introvert. Makes one wonder if Wilson has taken the right lifestyle choices.

Book "Inch" Worm

So, to note. I have bought another book. a novel, this time.
which makes my collection of books i have bought in the past 3 months, up to..ten..and counting

1. Bobby Flay's Burger book (burgers look fun)
2. Jamie Oliver's Dinner (loved Jamie's books)
3. Gentlemen of the Road (Michael Chabon)
4. the Mysteries of Pittsburgh (Michael Chabon)
5. Slam (Nick Hornby)
6. Twenties Girl (Sophie Kinsella)
7. The Art of War (Sun Tzu)
8. The To Do List (Mike Gayle)
9. Things Managements do which you have not done (some obscure witch writer)
10. Introverted Management (which was a wash, because it was written by an extrovert, bah)

Aside from the last book, which was, pretty much neglected. the only book that i managed to read was.... The Sophie Kinsella.. which was finished in one day flat...

The rest of the book, was flipped about, once or twice, deigned too complicated to read, and shoveled into the book rack, which and stays there collecting dust, waiting for the other new unread books.

I suppose I liked the concept of reading a book better than actually reading it. see.. buying it does make you sound more intellegent, somewhat. like when I decided to buy a Michael Chabon novel (or three) just because he was a Pullitzer winning novelist, and smart intelligent ball like Wilson should be reading a Pullitzer winning novel.

Well, not so fast, Wilson......this concept of getting "cultured" by book reading is wearing pretty thin pretty fast. But I digress. It is just a way for Wilson to understand people without meeting them.

Turns out, people are seemingly even more complicated in novels, than they are in real life (as per Pullitzer winning author's point of view).

Back to the drawing board Wilson, looks like you'll have to meet more people soon.

Perfect Day

Let me tell you what my perfect day is……

Its bound to be on a non-working day, for sure. So, a holiday….

On that day, I’m going to wake up pretty late…say, around 9……and have something to eat..a solid burger, or a sandwich, with all the trimmings….

And then I’ll sit by the couch…. TV off/on, some music. Or maybe I’ll just google/blog something up.

In the afternoon, after a bit of a nap, I’ll go off and have a light exercise at the gym

And then have a ridiculously huge late lunch, like a japanese chicken curry rice. With green tea.

maybe then a little cake with coffee, with a good book, at Starbucks.….

And then go home, and watch some movie on DVD

And go to bed, early…. Say, Nine, or Ten, tops

And doing all of this, without talking….to anybody…..……

One should try it…..infinitely refreshing to only start talking again by Monday.

There’s so many useless, unimportant things being talked about, your head fill up with so many useless talks, debates, useless jokes, that maybe, one doesn’t realise, that maybe, just maybe, your mouth could do with a break. Give time for the brain to restructure your sentences before you say something that you might regret..

Now that, would be the perfect day.