A lack of Inspiration

I somehow found that my well of blog ideas has dried up since returning back home to Indonesia…
what is it about this city that has sucked out my life juices? Could it be the endless working hours?
Could it be the apparent lack of culture in this city?... seemingly endless expanses of the concrete jungle with nary a
Tree in sight, or only a single lone, poor, extremely dusty, sad excuse of a tree beaten down with bustling cars, and endless rows of motorcycles..

Or could it be hopelessness…where no news is good news, the first thing that greets you when you start to the office is one of the many child-beggars, lining the street, looking so plaintively for a few nickel & dimes...where nothing seems to be getting better anytime soon.. the smell of despair in giant empty malls, filled with items most people are unable to buy, hence the expression “walking around”.. not shopping, just walking, looking, dreaming…

I’ll be enthusiastic again… I know I will… I’ll get it back..Now, if I can just stop comparing this place to Singapore….. ha ha…

She Didn’t Look..

Came home one evening..coming along a particularly busy intersection. I stopped, waiting for traffic to subside… as I was just about ready to turn, a woman, an old lady with a feather-duster, walked by, casually… right in front of my car...

She didn’t stop, didn’t even think about stopping…… despite the obvious danger it posed on her, as well as my own well being… that wasn’t my first thought.. if anything, it was her face…

Her face, registered nothing, not a single flicker of concern.. not a single look of awareness… it was, for lack of a better word..hard as stone.. it’s as if, she doesn’t care… of anything, anybody, of herself.. living, dying.. it’s all the same…

I felt guilty, somehow.. I don’t know what I was guilty for, but nevertheless, felt guilty…I don’t think anybody has that right to stop caring about themselves so much..... naïve, I know….still, it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty